How do I handle a stalker?

Question

not really a 'stalker' in a criminal sense, but weird nonetheless. I work at a video store and talk about movies to the customers, well this one customer started coming in more often and of course i was friendly in a professional way. what i didn't realize is that he apparently is madly in love with me. he came in the store 2 days ago and gave me a note professing his love and sadly expressing his loneliness and desperation and how he feels he is repulsive to women. this note is seriously borderline suicidal. for one, he should have just asked me out so i could've told him about my boyfriend, and we could've skipped this whole awkward situation. i don't know what to do about this, should i just tell him about my boyfriend and hope he doesn't follow me home or commit suicide or should i take this to the authorities?

Answer 1

If you want to help him, whatever you do you should let him know you have a boyfriend, let him know that girls reject very often for many reasons not because he's repulsive but because it's just what girls do, and there's nothing wrong with being rejected, all he has to do is to keep trying because he's a great guy.

As for yourself, you should let the boss know about this, or the police. Not to arrest him, but just to let them be aware of the situation.

Answer 2

i hoped you kept the note, you should start writing things down like the days you see him the times and what was said by BOTH of you, yes i would go to the police and maybe inform your boss be careful whatever is said you should write even if you think its not that bad and keep what ever he gives as evidence x good luck

Answer 3

Be blunt. Let him hang unless you like him too! sounds obsessive and creepy. I'd dodge this bullet!

Answer 4

I'd calmly tell him that he is simply infatuated with me, (if I were you) and that I have a boyfriend he might need to worry about. Don't threaten him, just like- set him up with someone or something. if he doesn't leave eventually I'd tell somebody about it.

Answer 5

Write him a note back and tell him that he seems like a nice person. But that you have a bf that you have been dating for a long time and that you are in love with.This should deter him. And he will probably stop coming to the store. If he still insist on a relationship. Then if I were you , I would quit the job because working there will surely creep you out. If you should quit, do not tell anyone where you plan to work next. Another idea is to put on an engagement ring and start having your bf come by and pick you up from work a couple of times, just in case he is watching you when you get off work. He sounds a little creepy, so keep the mace handy.Also tell your boss,bf and a trusted co worker about the situation.

Answer 6

don't get caught up in his delusions... distance yourself tell your boss, and pass the details to the police...

if he gets it all wrong in his head, he might do something stupid to himself and/or you...

don't go home by yourself... he may know where you live...

Answer 7

First tell your manager ok. Speak to the manager, I'm not sure the cops can do anything at this point. The most important thing right now is put your friends and co-workers in the know. Give a description, and make up some sort of signal that you can use to alert the co-workers that he is in the store.

Next, you need to make sure you leave the store with another employee. WHen you clock out, ask your manager or a co-worker to escort you to your car. Does this man drive? Try to find out. Take a different way home everyday. Don't drive in patters. Always keep your cell phone with you charged in case of a sudden emergency. Look at your rearview to see if anyone follows.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Inform your boyfriend and let him know about the situation itself. I hope my words have helped you.

If he does anything else, then you alert the authorities. But on second thought, I think it would be ok to talk to the police and see what your options are. THank you for reading.