How do I handle this situation? (Long question) Serious Answers only PLEASE?

Question

I have a group of friends I hang out with; including two best girl friends from high school, a best girl friend of 14 years (April) and my boyfriend. Lately no one seems to get along with the best friend. Everyone seems to be growing up and starting their life and shes not.

I recently moved out with April and her older sister. It only lasted about four months. I was overwhelmed with too many responsibilities of the house that I felt needed to be shared among all three of us. Both of them are very sloppy and disgusting. I’ve been back with my parents for a bout 3 weeks now. Well the electric bill was in my name and they would pay me each both their share. Well April hasn’t paid me for June or July, a total of $136.00. I’m not hurting for the money, but I feel its her responsibility to pay for her bills. And she has always had a bad habit of NEVER paying people back! Every time I ask for it she always has excuses and promises to pay next paycheck. I’ve been extremely understanding and I have not yet been rude about it. But obviously that is not getting me anywhere. Another reason its hard to stay nice about it, is since she’s owed me money she has gotten her hair done, gotten her nails done, went clothes shopping, parties and drinks EVERY WEEKEND, and bought a new puppy. Though I feel what she is shopping for would usually not be any of my business but its very frustrating when she owes me money and she goes and spends money on non-necessities.

I have basically grown up with this girl and NOT being her friend is not the answer. But I have become very distant from her because I feel she is not the kind of person I need to be around. And not just because of the money. For example; she lies constantly to all of her friends, she’s about to be 21 years old and has nothing to show for herself! She’s thousands of dollars in debt because she doesn’t know how to handle money. She gets paid and the next day all of her money is gone. She has no respect for herself or others. I could honestly go on and on about her. I’ve just never met someone so selfish and irreponsible. I know you might think, well if im her friend then why don’t I help her, but she never wants our help. She ALWAYS tells us to mind our own business and doesn’t want us involved.

I guess my question is, am I right for feeling so annoyed and frustrated with her? And how do I handle the money?

Answer 1

The best thing you can do is cancel all the bills that are in your name.  I would also tell them that you are doing this, so they can put it in there names.

If you are late in paying your bills, this will hurt your credit. This will haunt you for many years.  The next time you move out and want to start service, they could make up put a deposit down, because you've been late on your payments.

You also don't need the aggravation of always begging them to pay you back. You already know that this friend, has  a tendency of not paying people back.  

Answer 2

Simple, tell her just like you would tell a boyfriend I don't want to talk to you any more. As for the money sound like you will never see it so lesson learned don't lead money! Sound likes she really needs to grow up. Good luck!!!!

Answer 3

um well like u said being nice to her and letting her make excuses is wrong its not getting you anywhere and soon she will owe you more and more then finally not have the money to pay you back. Even though she is a childhood friend you should definitely just back away slowly try to hang out with her sometimes but not a lot. you are definatly right for feeling these feelings about her,i had a friend just like her i still hang out with her but try to keep my distances.get the money back anyway possible even try getting her sister to talk to her about it to. GOOD LUCK. tell me how it goes. bye

Answer 4

Your friend obviously does not respect you or even appreciate you as a friend and you are taking it, you should be honest with her, it might lead to a fight between the two of you but she needs to know how you feel. Explain that its not about the money but the principle.

21 she's a bit young and excited, you don't have to stop being her friend coz i'm sure she'll grow out of being irresponsible. Just live your life let her live hers and keep your distance, show her she's not a necessity in your life but be a friend when she needs one!

Answer 5

There are two roads you can take:

1. Well, first things first. Confront her again, but do it this way:

Flat out say "April, I need the money." Give her a date by which to get it to you. Then say "You keep making up excuses and saying you'll get it to me, but you never do. I really feel bad saying this, because we've been friends for our whole lives. But, since you aren't taking our advice about handling your money, I am being forced to take an outsider's attitude to this. Well, I will feel compelled to contact the police if you do not pay me back."

Don't feel bad saying this. It sounds to me like April is being very irresponsible and if she wants to be friends with you, she should listen to you and take your advice.

I'm not going to pay attention to what you said about breaking the friendship. So what if you've been friends forever? I sound cruel, but are you going to allow April to damage your life? Also, when you were younger both of you had the same maturity level. But now, you're the one growing up and April's still stuck as an air-headed teenager. Don't be enemies, but feel free to leave April out of your hang out sessions.

2. Don't give up on April. You know her better than I do, so think whether she's the kind of person who will take advice if it is bluntly given. Help her. Take her to a finance counselor.

Answer 6

You have two choices now that the other person obviously doesn't respect you.  Hound the person for the money, or write it off as a loss.  Heck, if you do write it off, think of it as a cheap class on ''how to spot a deadbeat'' and you'd earned 136 credits in the school of hard knocks.  Keep this always in mind in the future when rooming up with others, if you ever do it again.  Besides, since it's your name, it's your credit score.  I've been through the same scenario.  Believe, it's not worth you time to dwell on this anymore.  Get out of town and travel the world.  Life is waiting for you!  

Answer 7

she seriously needs to grow up.