How do I heal from the death of my dog???

Question

I had 4 dogs..3 boxers and a mix. One of my boxers jumped our fence and was hit by a car. With 2 broken back legs, she pulled herself home(this was late at night and we didnt even know she was gone).The next morning we took her immediately to our vet. The surgery to repair her legs and hips was going to cost $2500. She wouldve been on confinement for 3 months, meaning no activity whatsoever. We had to have her put down. I told my family that I owed it to her to be there when she left this world and I held her and told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was while the vet put her to sleep. My husband told me afterwards that we were bringing her home where she belonged. Now she is buried in our yard and I have ordered her headstone. I have been to her grave frequently and always tell her how much i love and miss her. The problem is, I cant let her go. I think of her and cry constantly. I cant stop thinking of her being in pain and laying outside waiting for us to find her. I cant stop thinking of her being afraid and alone. How do I heal from this? My dogs are like children to me.She was a mommys girl...she was my girl. Plz help

Answer 1

I'm so sorry. Your story brought back the pain my family felt about 4 months ago when we had to put our 11 year old yellow lab Chloe to sleep. We cried so much for the 1st month or so and now it's getting better but the pain is still there. We have pictures of Chloe all over the house. Seeing her daily makes it easier for us... we're so thankful for the time we had with her. You'll never be "Over" her, the pain just softens a bit.  

Answer 2

There will never be a day that you don't think about her, but it will get better.  This may sound odd, but pets that are loved so much are given second (even 3rd and so on) chances to bring happiness to someone else. So I know there might not be a way for you to 'heal', think of it like this, she can't come back and give you the love you once had for her, but her spirit will allow her to be loved by someone else. Do you believe in reincarnation?  It's all about energy, and she will bring a child or an adult much love.  Have you thought about getting another puppy?  

Answer 3

awww i am so sorry you almost got me crying from that story i would never be able to get over that if that happend to one of my precious dogs  but i had a husky all my life and she even saved my life when i was a baby and we had to pit her down in october of last year b cuz she got cancer and she bled a pint of blood on my bedroom floor while she was trying to go to the bathroom so we took her gto the vet and they said they could get rid of the cancer b ut it would be over 5000 dollars so my mom said that we should put her to sleep and i was crying for like2 days straightr i couldnt sllep at night and i wasnt even able to go to school b cuz iwas so sad so i just prayed to God to help me get over the pain from the death of my dog and i just prayed and prayed and soon i was able to talk about her with out having to leave the conversation i was in and this was almost a year ago she was puit down october 20 11:35 i was 11 then but now i am 12 and i still cry over her and what a great life she had and what a great dog she was so i hope that u will have a great life and have fun and you may cry there is nothing wrong with that so i will pray for you even if you are n9ot a christain i will still pray for you and i hope the best

god bless!

Answer 4

Reading your story brought tears to my eyes.  I'm so very sorry for your loss.

It's never easy when that time comes and you have to say good-bye to your beloved pet.  You did what was best for your dog though and I'm sure that she knows that.

Don't feel bad about crying over her.  There are still times that I shed some tears over dogs that I've lost in the past.  I know it's easy for me to tell to remember the good times and the happy memories you shared with each other, but not as easy to do.  It will easier as times  goes by and you will be able to remember your beloved dog with more smiles than with tears.

She is going to live forever in your heart and she will be waiting for you at The Rainbow Bridge, where you will see  her again one day.  She is probably with my dogs now and they are all having a good time playing until we see them again.  

I'm going to add some links that helped me get though the grieving process and hopefully, they will be of some comfort to you, too.

The first link is for The Rainbow Bridge and the others are places where you can put a free memorial or even light a candle in your dog's honor.

Again, my deepest sympathies to you. May your dog rest in peace knowing how much she was and will always be loved.

EDIT TO ADD:

I just read the additions you wrote and I hope that you aren't blaming yourself for not having the surgery.  If you are, please don't blame yourself.  You made the right choice  and with 2 small children, it would have been next to impossible to keep her quet.  As I already mentioned, I'm sure that she understands.

She is not alone and and her soul and her spirt are still with you and will remain with you until you see her at The Rainbow Bridge.

Answer 5

i think that to help ease the pain is for what you are doing is plenty ok for and with your baby girl

she is gone and lost and nothing you can do can change that

but what you can do for her is to try and strengthen yourself up through this experience emotionally, i think that you may visit your dog in the backyard as much as you want to and like and i hope you have your husband or a family member there to comfort you always to be there to tell you its going to be all right. because it will be and you can and will get through this.

i will pray for you your family and your dog to all achieve a sense of enlightenment when this is all over. happiness, joy, you must perserve over the worst of life.

Answer 6

I know that this might sound strange, but don't suppress your feelings.  To do so would be to deny the special relationship you and your dog shared.   In time it will get better.  Memories of the happier times will emerge.  I have tried to do some things in my dog's memory that will help to remind me of happier times.  I know that I will never, ever forget that very special relationship we shared and what he taught me about what it is to love and be loved.  I am sad because I have not been able to create that kind of acceptance and love with the humans in my life, and I know how badly I want to have that kind of relationship back in my life.  

Answer 7

oh my gosh this happened to me! ok well you need to think that this is probably what you wanted. You need to think that you did the right thing and prevented her from suffering even more from like the surgery and confinment. As long as her last moments were  happy being with you and that she died in peace. You have to remember that it wasnt your fault and that it was just bad luck. I lost one of my beloved pets in may and i still think of him contatnly but it gets easier as the days go by. You need to take a break and go somewhere. And remeber, you dog would definitley not want you to be sad like this, would she?

Answer 8

You grieve, but do not wait to long to get another.  I lost two dogs to old age in five years and tried to not get another.  I finally did and it was the best thing.  Sometimes it is much kinder to let a severely injured dog go to a better place.  You have to think of quality of life.

Answer 9

I'm so sorry about your Boxer! I know exactly how you feel, because one of my Chihuahuas named Gigi, died of a form of Liver Disease, 2 weeks ago. My dogs are like my kids too, because I wasn't able to have kids of my own! I'm still crying and I don't think I will ever really stop, because it hurts! My heart will always cry for Gigi! I truly miss her and loved her very much! I guess the only thing that we can do, is to give it time, and just try to remember all the good, happy times we had together and know, that they are no longer in any kind of pain! I think that's the only thing, that keeps you somewhat sane!Try to spend as much extra time and give a little extra attention to your other dogs, because I'm sure that they miss her too! I can't really think of anything, that would ease the pain and heartbreak of losing a pet! If you do, please let me know! This all feels like some great big nightmare, and tomorrow when I wake up, Gigi will be right next to me. I would give anything, to have my Little Gigi back!

Answer 10

I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your dog. Perhaps joining a pet loss support group will help you feel better. Go to www.petloss.com or www.ahshc.org for more information on these groups.

Answer 11

First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss :'( I cannot even imagine the pain if my dog was gone, and I'm sure it's heartbreaking for you. My condolences.

She is in a better place now, I know that you know. Keep reminding yourself of this, and instead of grieving over her pain, imagine how happy she is right now where she will never have any pain again.

Also, focus on your other dogs as well. I know that it's hard that one of your dogs are gone, but just enjoy the time you have with the rest of your canine family. They will appreciate it; they are probably grieving the loss of their friend as well. Dogs are more like humans than you think, and they will appreciate your love just as you appreciate theirs.

The answer to your question is not an easy one to answer, but just know that in time your memories of her will not be clouded in pain, but instead of happiness for her great life with you. Just hang in there; it's okay to feel sad, just don't let sadness become you. Your dog loves you just as much as she did before, and that will never change.

Answer 12

new lil puppy might help. won't take the place but sure will take your mind off some.

Answer 13

sweetheart, she's not alone! she's with god now! your baby was scared and alone when she got hit. when she made it home she stayed alive long enough for you to say good-bye. i am crying as i type because i could not be there when my wolves died, mother and son( one year apart). your lucky she had the strength to make home. praise her in death as you would in life! your greiving process is your own, one day, one minute, one year! get out pictures, make a scrapbook, stay in bed, eat whatever(not too much), remember the day you guys got her, the laughter, the tricks she played, her cuddles, bath time, bedtime, dinner, toys, her friends, favorite things to do. she will always be apart of you. god bless you honeyxoxoxo.

but the best thing is when your not expecting it another dog or pup finds their way into your heart, let the dog find you.

Answer 14

I am deeply sorry for your loss. As many before me have said, you have to let yourself time to grieve. No one can tell you how long that will take. Love your dogs, your children and if you are a Christian, pray to God and ask him to take away your suffering. He can help you through the pain. Please don't wrap yourself in guilt. It can be a very lonely blanket. Instead, focus on the wonderful memories you have of your sweet friend. When you are ready, look at pictures and reminisce with family members. Talking about her will help. You will eventually be able to talk without shedding tears and be able to think of her and smile.

Answer 15

Hi, remember your other dogs need you.  keep yourself busy with them and let time heal your sorrow.    There is no quick fix.  You just have to keep so busy you don't get much time to cry.  And, crying is good for getting over the loses in our lives.  Good luck and hang in there it will get better.  Mary, Queen Of Flirts

Answer 16

It is normal to feel grief when you are mourning the loss of a loved one, whether it is an animal or a person.

Feel the pain and express the sorrow. In time, you will have let it all out and you will be able to move on.

Part of the reason you cry is because you miss them. You miss being with them and having them in your life. You are crying for your loss, really.

Remember what Jesus Christ said: "blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  What comforts us about mourning? Resurrection. Everlasting life. Like St. Paul said, "death, where is thy sting?"  

Answer 17

What your doing right now is how you heal. By talking about how you feel with someone is the ultimate healing process. Although you will never forget, life will get a little easier, but take it day by day. Also, try to remember all of the good things your dog has done in her life and honestly i think she would appreciate that from you. Another thing is visiting her at her grave is another form of healing.

P.S My prayers goes out to you.

Answer 18

My heart broke when I read this,please know you are not alone in your pain over this loss.You are suffering from guilt.We who love our animals so much feel it is our duty to always protect them.The problem is when we do that we take away the fact that they have free will and because of that we must believe,the reason she went over that fence was hers=she chose to make the jump.We cannot be on guard 24-7 because that's like saying hey my dogs so stupid I have to make all its decisions and you know that, part of what you loved about her was that she was different-she had her own beat to dance to.Dogs do not view death as we do.They consider  it a natural part of the circle of life.To be in as much pain as she was-do not think for a second she does not thank you for helping her cross over.She is only gone from this life walk she will never be gone from your heart.When she died a little part of her spirit entered into your very soul,you will never be alone you will never lose her.But you must forgive your self because that's what she would want for you.Tilks Mom

Answer 19

The best way is to love your other dogs to kind of get your mind off of her. i had an outside dog that we had to put down last summer from old age and a stroke, it is a hard thing to go through, I still catch myself looking out to see if she is alright

Answer 20

I know how you feel exactly.  I had a to put down my 12 and a half year old golden retriever, and that dog was the best friend I had ever had.  His name was Barney, and he was a birthday present to me.  Right from the beginning we were inseparable.  He sleep by my bedroom door, followed me where ever I went, and if I had to go away from a few days, he slept by the door and wouldn't eat.  Then on Halloween 3 years ago, we found out that he had cancer and one week later we had to put him to sleep.  I felt so angry and upset because I didn't feel like 1 week was long enough at all to say goodbye to him.  We got him cremated, and he now sits in a nice earn on my parents mantle.  Sometimes though, I think about him, and it sucks.  People might think I'm crazy, but I am like you... that dog was more of friend to me than any human could ever be.  I have never really gotten over his death, I cried on his birthday in June.  I know it's hard, but if you just think about the happy times you had, you'll feel better.  I hope this helped, and I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 21

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost a 12 year old Sheltie 2 years ago, and we still get choked up about her. It's a long process, and you have to grieve. We buried ours at our old house where she used to bark at our daughter's horses. She, too, has a headstone. We visit her quite often. She was just like our kid. Have you ever heard of the Rainbowbridge.com? It's a place where you can go to share the loss of your pet with other grieving 'parents'. I got a lot of comfort from it, and the legend of the rainbow bridge is beautiful. I hope this helps. My thoughts are with you.