How do I help my 13 year old son adjust to going back to school after being homeschooled for 3 years?

Question

How do I help my 13 year old son adjust to going back to school after being homeschooled for 3 years?

Answer 1

I'd advise you to do very little.

It's entirely possible that your son will make the transition smoothly on his own.

If you bring in tons of special pre-interventions and other attempts at inoculating him from all of the pitfalls that life presents, you stand a chance of creating a self-fulfilling prophecy and bad things will happen just because you're anticipating them.

Talk briefly with your son about how his day will proceed so that he'll understand the schedule changes.  Mention that there are all kinds of kids in the school and that he should choose his friends well.  And then let him go off and live his life to his own best ability--just like we all have done and continue to do.

Tell yourself that almost none of them die.

Answer 2

You cant..Maybe you could finde him some friends that go to that school

Answer 3

just toss him back thats what my parents did i adjusted

Answer 4

He was only homeschooled for three years, so I completely agree that you won't have much to do, nor should you intervene in the process that much.

Trust your son and the job you have done raising him.

He is already familiar with a traditional school setting, and the school will make sure he knows where his classes are and such.

Middle school, right? Yes, it can be rough, but there are a lot of good kids too.

The main advice I can give is to encourage him to be a friend first. Find someone in each of his classes to try to get to know, and at lunch find a friendly face from class to sit with.

He'll be just fine.

As far as what you can do, stay connected with him. Talk about how his day went, be open to discuss things with his teacher, but give him some space and responsibility.

Be aware of any underlying prejudice from his teacher so you can discern between an actual problem and a perceived one.

Be your child's advocate, but not overly involved.

Answer 5

See how the school can help. They may start him on a part-time table, be able to give him an adult mentor (a member of staff), or a student mentor (to show him the ropes). They may be able to provide support in lessons. Take him in to meet the teachers. Make sure you are happy with the school you have chosen. Make sure he is happy with returning to school. Once he has returned, keep the lines of communication open, both between you and the teachers - so you know what and how he is learning, and with him, so if he has any problems he can tell you.

Answer 6

It really depends on what kind of person he is.  My brother and I both went back to public school at age 14 (although he is 5 years younger than I am, so his transition came a bit later).  I was very used to dealing with homeschoolers, who were always very warm and welcoming and pious.  When I went back to public school, I was shocked to hear kids my age swearing (and I almost made the mistake of sounding like a real goody-two-shoes by asking them not to)... I also had a tough time dealing with the cliques that were already in place (we live in a small town).  Once I realized that everyone wasn't going to welcome me with open arms, I got confused about what to do.  It took me a while to realize that I just needed to be myself and be more accepting of other people who didn't believe in the same things I did.

As far as the actual school work, I did pretty well, although I wasn't used to the amount of homework given, especially in math.  Make sure your son realizes he's going to have to spend a lot of time doing homework and studying after he gets home from school.

My brother, on the other hand, had a lot of public-schooled friends already and was into the skater scene, so he found friends and cliques immediately and had no trouble in the social scene.  He's always been more outgoing than me.  He also handled the schoolwork pretty well, getting on the honor roll almost every quarter.  His problem was more with obeying the teachers... He was used to working at his own pace while homeschooling, so he would get upset with the teachers if they kept teaching something after he already understood it or moved to quickly past something he didn't quite understand.  So those might be some issues your son comes up against, too.

Hope this helped!

Answer 7

13 year old kids are really mean. Whether he's been in school his whole life or homeschooled, he's gonna get picked on for various random reasons and he'll have to learn to deal. If he receives extra attention at school, he might be targeted for more teasing than he might otherwise get.

I suggest that you start off by asking him this question and see what ideas he has. Then check back in with him after a day or two of school and see if whatever both of you have decided is working.

The best thing a parent can do for a kid of this age is to be there to listen and be supportive no matter what. Also reassure the kid that what they are going through (body changes, kids acting mean, drama, etc) is normal and that they will get through it and should just be themself.