How do I help my 4 years old daughter to stop crying when going to preschool?

Question

How do I help my 4 years old daughter to stop crying when going to preschool?

Answer 1

HIya here's some advice based on my experience:

-Remember its a big change in routine and so WILL take time-up to 2 weeks is usually average for tears to stop!

-Keep things consistent-eg: if one day you stay 5 mins to settle her dont suddenyl leave next day, then stay the next etc she's need a routine approach.

-Two options 1) You stay for a few minutes to get her playing and then a kiss and goodbye and go 2) You leave straight away but return before the end of session so its not such as long absence whilst she's settling in. I prefer option 2 and so do most settings as often children are fine once parents have left and the staff have got them joined in and happy!

-Call the setting-after about 10mins call them and ask if she's settled-this way you'll have peace of mind thats she ok-or if she's not then they can ask you to return.

-Give her something to take with her-often if kids take their comfort blankets-or even just something interesting to show their teachers it supports them in enjoying going to preschool.

-Ensure days are suitable eg-if she's only doing a couple of day then it will take her longer to get preschool into her routine, if 3 days then try to spread them out so tshe doesnt have long gaps between sessions.

-Avoid anxiety-if talking about preschool upsets her then dont! A simple "preschool tomorrow" before bed, or in the morning "get ready for school" is enough as children often pick up anxieties if adults push the point too much!

-Show enthusiasm when you pick her up-look at her pictures, talk to staff, big hugs etc.

One thing that helped a child of mine:

-Parent gave her child her watch to have on his belt loop-she said it would beep at hometime so he knew she was coming back. She said she needed her watch for work later than night so it assured him that she was coming back!

Answer 2

first of all, talk to the teacher and make sure she's engaging the child when she comes into the room and not just allowing her to stand there, unconsoled.  then ask if she can bring a treat for the class.  if she can, let your daughter pick out what she wants to take.  let it be her idea.  a bag of apples, box of crackers, crayons, whatever it is.  gives her something to be proud of, share with her class and helps her break the ice and make new friends.

i had parents put a stamp on their child's hand that said 'i love you' or a heart or even drew a heart on their hand.  just a visual reminder during the day that the child can see.  or put a note in their school bag.

then, say all your goodbyes in the car.  talk about how she's going to school with her friends and you'll be at work.  then you'll come and get her.  once you have a pattern of when you'll be there you can explain that you'll be there after nap, or after afternoon outside play, whatever function is going on when you arrive.  try to make sure you arrive about the same time everyday so she'll know that after outside play she'll be seeing you.

once you are at school and you've said your goodbyes in the parking lot take her inside to her class.  discuss whatever you need to with the teacher, kiss your daughter, tell her you'll see her and WALK OUT!!!!  DROP AND RUN!!!!!!!!!!  this will allow the teacher to now do her job and involve your pumpkin in the class and bond with her.  don't stand in the hall, don't be in the center where she can see you to hear her cry.  be a big girl and get moving.

as a director i'd always allow a parent to stand in my office (if necessary) and listen and leave. or they could call later and i'd check on the child.  but let the school do their job and you do your's.  work together.

Answer 3

This happens generally to each child. So nothing to worry much.

But try to encourage her  by soft words and see that all her wishes

are fullfilled time to time. Make her be in the company of mom and dad

always so that she can get more  emotional support.Since school

is always cosidered as second home tell her teachers to treat her

nice  in the school. Make her home and school life enjoyable and funfilled. Wish the best.

Answer 4

Let a part of you feel good that your child misses you so much.  Soon enough, he or she will go to school with no tears and you will miss the days when you were your kid's whole world.

That said, it helps if you promise your kid something special when you pick him or her up.  One child gets to have her dog come with her mom to pick her up.  Another told me that if he was good that he gets to go to the park later with his mom.

Ask the teacher how your kid is during the day.  If he or she only cries initially when you leave, then rest assured that this is normal.  If he or she is crying the whole time, then that's a problem (especially after the child gets to know the school and the other kids).

Answer 5

I do understand that kind of problem or situation because my little brother used to be like that when he was still in his pre school years..

here are the things that i noticed that my mom usually do:

1. she tells my little brother if he could make it through the day without any tears in his eyes or any watery something.. she would treat it..

2. tell him/her that you would never let anything bad happen to him/her

3. know what is the problem..

Answer 6

Well mame, it is quite simple. You tell her that you love her and give her a hug, then buy her ice-cream after she is out of school. If that does not work, let her daddy take care of the problem. :)

Answer 7

I've found if you explain what is going on in a way the children will understand it stops them from crying because they know what's going on....I always tell my son when I leave him somewhere that mommy will be back and remind him that mommy will always come back for him...if your daughter still gets freaked out maybe a secret item between the two of you could help her through the tough times at school one of my friends kisses her daughter's wrist after she puts on her lipstick so her daughter always has a kiss from mommy which keeps her calm

Answer 8

i used to teach preschool before moving to another state recently. the preschool teachers should be helping you and your daughter with this transition. im sure they are great teachers, ask them if there is anything they can do to help you with this.  the best thing for you to do is to take her drop her off, kiss and hug if you need to but DONT linger while she cries trying to make it easier.  this only makes it harder on the child.  i know im a parent also and its really hard to leave when your child is crying, but make it short and sweet.  tell her you love her and your leaving know and that you will be back soon and just walk away. thats when they teachers should be stepping in to make her more comfortable..

i sure hope they are helping her...

good luck

Answer 9

I am a preschool teacher. You cannot force her to stop crying, but, the less of a big deal YOU make it, the less of a big deal it will be for HER. Many times kids feed off of what the parents do. When you drop her off, make it loving, but short and quick. If she grabs your shirt, its best to simply take her hand off, and gently but not sympathetically (sympathetically as in saying things like "aww baby, you miss mommy" "you dont want mommy to leave do you?" "aww, dont cry! you know ill be back") tell her you love her and will be back to get her later and just walk away. Short and sweet.  I see many parents who come back and come back and come back making the drop off process a 15min ordeal when actually sticking around makes it worse. It may seem "cruel" or as if you don't care. But trust me, if she is getting good care, she IS ok after you leave. If you are in a good school/learning center, the teacher should comfort her. Leave that to the teacher. 99 out of 100 times, they may scream up until the door shuts after the parent has left and then after a hug are perfectly fine and ready to play. After she sees you aren't feeding into her as much, she may quit acting so upset. In her own time, she will be ok.