How do I help my daughter make friends?

Question

My 12 1/2 year old daughter just started middle school yesterday (7th grade). She has never had many friends no matter how much I encouraged her to do so. I was hoping this would be a fresh start for her.

I asked her yesterday who she ate lunch with & she said no one. She said everyone was eating with someone else. I suggested that she ask someone to eat together & she said that she didn't want to.

This morning before she left for school I said to her - do me a favor today, try to find someone to eat lunch with. Again she said that she didn't want to.

I am getting very concerned. She was adopted from China as an infant & very much smaller for her age. She is exceptionally bright - loves to read, go on her computer, & learn new facts about the world - things that most kids don't care about. She also feels as though she is a geek.

We are very close & at times I try to push her away a bit so she will do things on her own or with kids her own age. But she ends up going to neighbors homes to help them out or play with kids much younger than she is.

Is there anything else I can do?

Answer 1

Are there any clubs she can join? Or do they have a band/orchestra at her school?

Answer 2

let it flow

Answer 3

See if there is any after school activities that she can join that have kids that are just like her. She is a shy girl by the sounds of it, and she'll eventually come out of her shell. I was the same way for a while, and I now have tons of friends.  

Answer 4

There's nothing you can do, some people aren't good at making friends and some are, her nationality has nothing to do with it,

I have plenty of friends and I like learning stuff about the world, her intelligence has nothing to do with it either,

you can't force your child to have friends, that will only make her mad.

Answer 5

don't push her, she will make friends on her on, and she will feel comfortable with them.  If she wants to join a club let her do so. Encourage her to keep up the good work with her studies.  Stay close to her and don't push her away.  You have a good kid, don't try to make her something she isn't, let her be herself.  You will be glad later that you did.

Answer 6

After school activities

Answer 7

maybe she could join a club or a sport.

Answer 8

just let her go at her own pace. maybe shes intimidated by some people... but dont push her now....then she may attract the wrong crowd

Answer 9

Other than getting her into after school activities there isn't much you can do.  She has to do this herself.