How do I help my ex grieve his mother and help myself grieve a broken heart?

Question

How do I help my ex grieve his mother and help myself grieve a broken heart?

Answer 1

Listen without judgement but with sympathy and understanding.

Answer 2

First of all, you can't help anyone grieve!  Grief is a very personal thing and everyone has to do it in their own way in their own time!  It's hard work and there is no easy way to do it.  You can offer support and listen if he wants to talk but the rest is pretty much up to him to work through.

There's a saying "time heals all wounds" but thats not necessarily true.  It's what you do with that time that counts.  

I'm assuming you are both grieving the same person?.....or is he grieving the loss of his mother and you're grieving the loss of your Ex?

Either/or, at some stage you will both be able to relocate that person to another place in your heart....when remembering them makes you smile and remember good memories and not always make you cry and feel sad.  The first year is always the hardest because you have all the "firsts" to go through without the person......first Christmas, New Years, Mother's Day, Anniversary, Birthday, etc.

You don't ever get over it, but you do eventually get through it.  One day when you least expect it, you will look out the window and smile when you see the sunshine and hear the birds sing and when that happens, you know you are on the mend.

I always compare grieving to taking a walk along the shore....the waves roll gently up and over your feet and you're going along doing not too bad.........and then a great big wave comes in that you're not expecting and it totally knocks you off your feet.  My point is that some days will be easier than others but it can be like taking 2 steps forward and one step back.