How do I help my kids deal with the pressures of materialism?

Question

This is my very first post, so I hope I do this right!

Our world is getting more & more materialistic and superficial everyday. Of course I cannot isolate my kids; but how do other parents out there deal with American materialism/consumerism? My kids often feel jealous when their friends get the latest video game, techno-toy or other expensive item that my husband and I can't afford at this time...or when neighbors go to Disneyland for vacation, etc. I feel guilty and try to make them see that there are other important things in life than possessions. But my kids are young (8&10), so it's not really sinking in yet. Any clever suggestions or am I wasting my time and I'll just have to deal with the endless question: "Mom, why can't we get/do what our friends are getting/doing?" Thanks! :-)

Answer 1

I just had a long talk with mine again the other day, they are 7 & 9. I just try to get them to be thankful for what they have. They know kids at their school who do not have as nice of clothes as they do. Or who do not have a mom home in the morning to help them get ready before school. And I have also told them of kids in other countries. Not the "be glad you have food to eat" approach. But I have told them be grateful they are allowed an education, and that child labor is against the law etc. And that while we are at war, it is not in our country, we do not have to fear bombs etc. it is a bit harsh but it is the reality for a lot of kids in other countries and sometimes our kids need to realize that all our freedoms are something to be grateful for. And I have told them there is always going to be someone out there with more than you. Rather than focus on what you do not have, focus on what you have to be grateful for. And we just go over this every so often. I tell them it is ok to want it, and to be dissappointed that you cannot get it, BUT they cannot sit around and feel sorry for themselves. Becuase in reality they are very lucky kids with parents who love them and work very hard for what we do have. If they continue on (which rarely happens) I make them stop and tell me three things they are grateful for, and three things not materialistic they are grateful for.

Answer 2

Our children have WAY more than we ever did growing up. However, we have made it a priority too that we don't keep up with everyone else. From the time they could understand, we made it clear that you can not subsititute love for things! Things do not make you happy. A nice family, being with those you care about, etc... will make you happy. We have also made a big effort to make sure our children really see the other side. We do a lot of volunteering and include all 3 of our children in it. Sometimes, its not very pretty but its reality and I think it really makes them more thankful for what they do have! We don't give allowances for chores- they are expected and a necessary part of being in a family that runs smoothly. But they can earn money for extra jobs, so they can buy those "just gotta have it" items. Last of all, this may sound like a silly one, but we really limit how much TV they are exposed to! You can not believe just how many commercials are on there, trying to get your kids to buy something! I hope this helped.

Answer 3

I have this too but mine soon understood. I explained that we may not have a lot of money but we have a roof over our heads, warm beds and food. I explained that we are luckier than many. Yes we don't have the trips to Queensland (I am Australian, for us everyone goes to Queensland) but we can if they stop all their afterschool activities . I gave them the choice and they never asked again to go to queensland. They know they are lucky for what they have. But mine a very grateful kids. If I drive through Mcdonalds for an icecream I am the best mum in the world and they get excited.

Answer 4

Simple, "Because I said no".  I have a major rule in my house.  "I don't argue, I don't negotiate and what I say goes".  My kids have never asked why when other kids get things.  My 11 year old has friends who own cellphones.  She has been told she won't have one until she can purchase her own place and phone.  IF she could do so tomorrow then fine she would have one.  My children have never had a television in their bedroom (we had our house remodeled to where they have a large "dormitory" style bedroom that all three currently share, my oldest will be moving into her own bedroom next year.  My kids have to share one computer between the three of them, they have to share the Xbox system we have in the playroom.  And their time with the televsion, computer, game system is limited to an hour a day.  Their friends get to have unlimited time watching television, playing video games.  It's not that we can't afford such ammenities, we have a boat, that we enjoy as a family.  We don't own an SUV, I have a small economy car and am looking at the "Smart Car" in fact.  Yes my girls do have high end bicycles, however we do a lot of mountain and trail riding and often go on bike backpacking and camp out.  All three of my girls take Dance as well as Martial Arts classes and are active in Girl Scouts and I'm Co-leader of my oldest's troop and Assistant leaders for my middle and youngests troops.  My kids COULD be "overpriliged princesses" but I won't allow them to be.

Answer 5

I know what you're going through...well not yet. Mine's only 1, but we also aren't going to be able to afford Disneyland trips, Nike clothes, etc. I want to introduce my kids to the more natural things in life...gardening, baking, canning (making pickles!).

There are also many children books you can buy that talk about the lives of children in less fortunate countries. Spend quality time together as a family, make good memories for them.

http://www.amazon.ca/Unplugged-Play-Book...

http://www.amazon.ca/Creative-Family-Enc...

http://www.amazon.ca/Love-Dirt-Activitie...

Good luck!

Answer 6

I can see where you are coming from. I live in a neighborhood where everybody is rich ,but us. My brother,my sister,and I do get jealous because all the other kids have PlayStation and XBOX  360's except for us. Our mother reminds us that we should be grateful for what we have and that we should be grateful that we have better lives than she and my dad did when they were kids.  I always got upset because we can't leave town because gas is so expensive. When we do go to the mall we can't get anything even though everybody else there does get stuff. Tell them about your childhood,other countries,and how they should be grateful for what they already have,not what they don't have. Good Luck!!!!