How do I help my sister and what do I say?

Question

she has just found out her 18 year old is pregnant AGAIN!

only this time the girl is going to give it up for some adoption thing where they can send the baby pictures, gifts, etc., twice a year.

My sister is falling apart and I don't know how to help her.

Has anyone been through this and if so how did you help?

Answer 1

Geezus, popping babies like ecstasy pills can be very dangerous for anyone’s future especially for an eighteen year old. I guess her intentions on giving the baby up for adoption, in a way, is a responsible way of thinking, and, at the same time a irresponsible way a of taking responsibility. Make sense?

How do we get around irresponsible responsible ways of thought? See what society has done. Who falls for this?

“RESPONSIBLE. THE IRRESPONSIBLE WAY”

Most of the time, so we think, is the only way.

So they say….

Answer 2

I think things like this just need time to get better. A lot of times parents blame themselves for things that their kids do but I think that people will make their own choices regardless of how they are raised.  

Answer 3

nope never been through that but i feel really bad for u and ur sister...

Answer 4

yes i would tell your sister that she needs to sit her daughter down and say that she i ruining her life and that it will never be the same when she has this baby and she needs to set some rules in place. that's what i would say and that she needs to stop sleeping around like a hoe and that she shouldnt even be having s*x at that age. that w***e

Answer 5

Tell her to put her daughter on birthcontrol

Answer 6

Get a therapist or have an abortion!

good luck

Answer 7

Has she kept the baby the first time?

It's so hard to say because even when a child is unwanted it can bring so much joy into a life. I give kudos to her for not aborting it and putting it up for adoption. That's a hard choice, very hard. I'm not sure if it would console your sister, but maybe just tell her that.

As far as her daughter goes...has she not had a talk with her? Apparently she didn't learn her lesson...I'm sorry for you :(

Answer 8

I think you should tell your sister to sit down and talk to her. They need to have a long serious talk, not just a 5 minute talk, and you should talk to your sister about this too

Answer 9

try keeping the baby and if it doesent work give to relatives

Answer 10

Tell your sister that her daughter has to live her own life if she wants to do it let her do it.  

Answer 11

1st and foremost, you should be there for her. This means talking to her and comforting her. Most of the time, it helps to have someone that can listen.  Do not say negative things about the daughter.  

2nd, find out as much information as you can about adoption and whatever else you need to know. You need to stay informative and be neutral. Make sure she understands the options available to her.  You can also call places like PlannedParenthood. They have a wealth of information and can point you to the right places.

Good luck.

Answer 12

no  but  a lot of teenage girls mess up and get pregnant but they dont do it again  either she is very irresponsible ,she just dont care or she needs some mental help

Answer 13

Get her an ID Ten T form!

Answer 14

just  talk  to here

Answer 15

No, I haven't been through this.  What was the result of the girl's first pregnancy?  Also adoption?

The eighteen year old can legally make her own decisions. So there's not much your sister can do.  Except tell the girl:  "I can't take this emotional turmoil.  If you become pregnant a third time (within the next five years) then I will no longer consider myself your mother."

This sounds really harsh, but your sister may be on the verge of serious emotional and stress related illnesses.

The only other idea I have is to get a list of all the health problems that can result from pregnancy.  e.g. There's gestational diabetes, which goes away after the baby is born, but 6 months or a year later the young Mom finds out she has permanent diabetes.

Same thing with blood pressure problems.  It may seem resolved after the birth and then a year later the Mom is told she has permanent high blood pressure.   Some women actually have over-active bladder after one pregnancy.  That might be permanent, too.  

You may develop varicose veins; you may develop

OOPS, EDIT:

weight problems.   You may have serious problems during delivery which result in sterility.  So only get pregnant if you really, really want a baby.

Answer 16

Just because she is 18 does not mean she has the right to do whatever she wants.  Your sister needs to be less lenient and more aggressive.  As long as she is living under her house, the daughter has no right to anything.  Buy your sister a box of condoms and tell her to throw it in her daughter's face.  Playing with human life is an abysmally childish and irresponsible act.  By being her aunt, you need to make it your personal mission to knock some sense into her if your sister lacks the ability too.  Just my two cents.  

Answer 17

is this your sister who is 18 and pregnant? just say what you think is best. how old is her first child? i really do not think she should give it up for addoption, its your child, thats so cruel. why is she doing that? she will regret it if she does. good luck..

say she needs to have protection next time

why does she not just an abortion??

Answer 18

Just stay upbeat and positive. She may be feeling down, but really, having a child or grandchild is a good thing even if it may not seem so at first. Just help her to make the right decisions and keep her spirits up.  

Answer 19

Tell her that she has done her best and that her daughter is an adult who can make decisions for herself.

If the daughter is making a mistake, then she is the one who will have to live with that decision. Assure her that adoption is not a bad thing, it is the most unselfish thing that a person could do and I am sure that the daughter has her reasons for it,

Answer 20

Seriously? Suggest a good gynecologist so your niece can get on the pill.  

Answer 21

that is a very unfortunate situation. My advice to you is to just be as supportive as you can be if that only means listening to her cry than do it. You really cannot do anything beyond that but I think its great you care so much.