How do I help my son stop crying in kindergarten.

Question

My son is 4 and started kindergarten this year and has had a hard time. He cries when I leave. He is very shy and I tried to drop him off and leave so he doesn't have reaction time. But then it was so heartbreaking to see him this way. I know this is best for him, but how can I help the teacher to make him BRAVE.

Answer 1

This is just separation anxiety.

He will grow out of it although it is really hard at first.

You should try and help with things yourself such as leaving him a friends house for a few hours etc so that he realises that its not soo bad being at kindergarten on his own afterall  

Answer 2

try to get him friends so he will feel better.

Answer 3

You should take him to a pyschiatrist. I go to one- he's great help for the hardships of school.  

Answer 4

Just relax it may take him a bit of time to adjust but the teacher have seen this lots of times.

Try giving him a picture of you and when he gets lonely or sad he can look at it.

Worse comes to worse he might need one more year till he is ready but so far it seems like he is just being normal.

Answer 5

I thought you had to be 5 to be in Kindergarten?  Regardless, this is normal.

My daughter cried almost every single day in Kindergarten for about 5 months.  She got to the point where she was just so nervous sometimes she would throw up in line and the teacher would send her home.  This was very difficult for my MIL who watched her and took her to school and I cried alot because everything I did or said to her wasn't helping her.  Everytime we asked her why she didn't like Kindergarten she said I don't know.

We figured out eventually that the teacher wasn't a very "nice" teacher.  She was used to her preschool teachers who were very outgoing and sweet and warm and fuzzy.  Her Kindergarten teacher was retiring that year and even according to the principal wasn't the nicest teacher there.  My daughter hated the teacher and I came to find out, so did alot of the other kids.  She wasn't downright mean or nasty, just wasn't very personable, you know?

My daughter also is very shy.  The kids were new to her and she didn't know many, if any.  After she started first grade and loved it, my theory about her Kindergarten teacher was confirmed.   I hope that her 2nd grade teacher is nice, but at least now she has made many friends in 1st grade and she won't feel "alone" anymore, regardless if her teacher is nice or not.

Answer 6

My son was the same, then a young girl from England came to the class as an EA and really helped him out, his teacher was a bit impatient about it all but the girl didn't make him feel silly and was able to comfort him and was very good with all the kids, when we heard she was leaving after Christmas we were worried incase his crying started up again but he was fine.

I'm sorry this doesn't really answer your question but that's how my situation was solved, make sure the teacher isn't too harsh. It can make the child even more anxious if the teacher acts as though he's being silly about it all.  

Answer 7

they will help him no doubts dont worry

Answer 8

My son had a really hard time adjusting.  It took a while, and we stayed on top of things, met with his teacher and she would update us on his day.... and he would be fine.  Some kids just get out of their element, ask the school counsellor to watch out for him and make sure he feels like he/she is their friend. Thats what we did.....our Counsellor is amazing and she has a way of befriending kids....so our son soon felt like there was someone there he could trust and turn to if he need it.

Now he is THRIVING! All star althete, Top of his Class, Advanced classes.

Its harder on the parent, than the kid, trust me. Its not uncommon and he will be fine. Interaction with his teachers and counsellors will help.

Good luck

Answer 9

He's got to learn to break free from Mummy's apron strings at some time.  Leave him to it however it makes you feel.  It sounds as though your kindness has already slowed his development.

Answer 10

If you don't think he is ready for Kindergarten, don't send him.

If he stays home with you for one more year, you will see a huge leap in his growth and development.

You could take that year to help him adjust to time away from you - does your local library have "Story Time" during the day for small children?  Maybe he could have play-dates with friends, or meet other mothers at the park so he gains confidence and grows to understand that even though you are not right beside him, you are nearby and caring and watching over him.

I have always thought that 4 years old is too young to be separated from mother, but there are so many women who have to go to work that the school system is integrating little ones into the schools at a younger and younger age.  Before we know it, kids will be taken away from their parents at birth and raised by the state.

If you are worried that he may lag behind, just find out what is covered in Kindergarten (colours, shapes, letters, sounds, days of the weed, months of the year, weather etc) and make sure that he will know what he needs to know by next year.

Good Luck and I hope you spend the next year doing what is best for your child, not just sending him off because every body else is doing it!

Answer 11

He cries when you leave but once you are gone I'll bet he is fine.

Most kids do this - it is them trying to assert themselves over you and make you feel guilty.

If you back down - he has won the first battle and knows mummy will always be there to pick up the bits and wipe the tears away.

It's called TOUGH LOVE - drop him off and walk away - he'll live and be fine

Answer 12

You have to get him excited about school. Make sure he knows all the fun he is going to have playing with the other kids. Then do what you were doing. Drop him off and leave...don't hang around waiting for him to stop crying..cause he won't. After a couple of weeks your son should be fine.

Answer 13

The teachers will do what they have to once you are gone so don't worry.  My daughter went thru a spell of this and soon got out of it.  the best thing you can do is continue what you are doing; leave him in their capable hands and don't show him its getting to you.

Answer 14

ur son is exactly the same as i was

unfortunately thers nothing the teacher can do and asking will probly make him scared of the teacher BUT ur son will become brave with time introduce him to other children that r shy aswell, works surprisingly well  

Answer 15

I teach kindergarten so I understand the heartache for both you and him.  The answer is to spend key moments of preparation with him.  Make him a special breakfast.  Talk to him about the other children you have seen in his class as if they are already his friends.  Put his papers on the fridge.  Little conversations will encourage him.  Do not let him see you are concerned or he may believe that there really is a reason for him to be concerned.  The crying will end soon and it will be a sweet memory.  I wrote an article about preparing you and your child for kindergarten you may enjoy it.  Blessings