How do I help my three year old who may be autistic and how do I get my family to support me?

Question

My sone was born two months early and is now three years old except he is only speaking at a 27 months old level, and his fine motor skills are also low. His doctor has sent us to a specialist to test him for Autism. I am having a hard getting through to my son and I want to help him. And whenever I speak to my mom or other family members about this they immedently close their minds to the possiblity he is autistic. So now I feel really alone and not sure if I am doing the right thing getting him tested and if I am how do I get my mom and other family members to see I am doing this for his sake, to help him get better.

Answer 1

Hun you have to deal with it first NOT your family until you get a formal diagnoses then i would just go through the assessment ...my story

Thomas pictured with his twin sister left was diagnosed with severe autism at aged 3 from what you say he is doing a lot better than Thomas was at that age

Thomas wasn't talking at all

wouldn't look at us

wouldn't play with anyone would play alone

Didn't feel pain as his twin sister did

Played with parts of a toy not the whole toy

He went through a 6 weeks assessment but within 2 weeks he was formally diagnosed with autism he also has a statement of special needs, he is 10 now and still non verbal and still in nappies, my family were the same my mum was with me through out the assessment, no one understood because they either didn't want to or didn't have too, you need to do whats best for your son if he needs to be tested then PLEASE do it Autism (if he does have it) will NOT go away he will have it for life,

You yourself also need to understand he wont get better he has autism for life IF he gets help soon then he will progress and do better ,

Answer 2

Why do you need to have them understand anything? Once you have the facts you can present it. Sorry to see( judging from your letter) your another statistic and don't have the support from the father, who should be assisting with his son.

Diet is also a way to help, so check your local library for books or look up on the websites for suggestions.

Answer 3

if your son was born autistic whether or not you test him, he will still be autistic. getting information will certainly help you in making a case to your family. personally i would get him tested, and if he's not, they don't need to know you took the test, and if he is, they will give you lots of resources to make both of your lives easier, they will help you in explaining to your family the situation. i have two friends with younger siblings who are autistic, and honestly you don't really notice after a while. i don't see where avoiding facts is going to help anyone.

Answer 4

..the best thing you can do is to follow your instincts...

a mother's love can move mountains..

Answer 5

I dont know about the family issues.....but i do know about the schooling aspects of autism!

1. Buy picture flashcards that are bright and colorful and easy easy easy to read. Work with him every day on them, lay a few on the kitchen table with the pictures up and say, "(name) can you show me where the apple is?" after a few seconds (dont wait too long cause autistic children have short attention spans) point to the picture, this case the apple and say, "theres the apple!" he will not get it for awhile but the school can further assist you with it but is is a good start.

2. Start looking into speech, physical therapy, occupational therapy and music therapy ASAP. It is best that Autistic children start as early as possible with their education in order for them to have the best possible outcome of being functioning adults.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

This is a difficult situation.  I think helping your family come to terms with your decision involves several things.

First off, recognize that your family also has the child's best interest at heart.  They want to believe that the child does not have autism.  People with autism face many challenges.  They are usually challenges they can learn to work with, but it is difficult.  

The second thing to recognize is that there is a lot of ignorance about autism.  The movie "Rain Man" was great in one respect - it made many people aware of autism.  It also has a problem that it presented such an extreme case that many people are not aware of just how large the spectrum is.  The biggest indicators for autism center around the inability to communicate effectively.  This is where much of the frustration happens.  So if his language is delayed, that may be a sign of autism.  

So I think a dialog can be made from helping them better understand what autism actually is and understanding that you're both interested in finding out what the problem is and helping him with it.  That's your common ground.  Explaining that you want to explore as many avenues as you can will help  them better understand that you want to get him tested.

Matt