How do I leave my wife?

Question

I'm 27. Been married for 5 years. She is CRAZY!!! Abusive (Verbally and Physically). We have a 6 year old daughter that is my life. She is the reason I've stayed in this so long. I'm afraid what my wife will do if I take off, like brainwash her. She's threatened she'd beat her self up to make it look like I did it. GOD!!! Someone help.

Answer 1

Wow... I couldn't empathize more. I'm 27, and I just left my husband 5 days ago. We have a 3 year old. Honestly, it wasn't easy, but I'm SO glad I did. I probably wouldn't have left, if it wasn't for my family.

All I can tell you is that it's time to put you and your child first. Your wife will brainswash your child whether you are there or not! It's REALLY hard to send your baby off with someone who you feel is unstable (I know, I had to send my son off with his father for the night) but you really have to think about the future. Would you rather that your daughter live with this crazy person day to day, or would you rather show her the meaning of normalcy? Leaving my husband has been the HARDEST thing I have ever had to do. The last 5 days have been really rough. But I know I'm doing the right thing. Think with your brain, not your heart. Good luck!

Answer 2

divorce that ady and take away ur child, i mean im underage and it really hurts me and my 3 sisters to see my parents fight all the time, if u dont liek each other then do the child a favor and dont let her grow up like that. i would of been better off if i wouldnt had live my life.. hate it

Answer 3

Document all the abuse and be sure you call the COPS on her next time she gets abusive. This will help you get custody of your daughter. I am assuming you would like custody of your life. Men can call the cops as well.  

Answer 4

A good friend of mine went through the exact same thing as you. He had an affair and his wife still did not want to let him go. They had two daughters and he took the girls and moved in with his mistress. He left his wife everything they built together. He got the kids because he had a job and she did not. Also she was in rehab treatment!

I think you should start off by making police reports against her when she abuses her. Or go get a protective order for you and your kid against her and leave, and let her know after you left that there is a protective order. That way if she does anything to her self to say it was you, you have the legal paper trail to prove it was not. Do it while she is gone at work or something. Plain on leaving your life behind.

Answer 5

If you have made up your mind to leave, then don't do it until you have covered your bases (if you can). Seek professional help from Lawyers and counselors and determine whether your child is going to be left in safe hands. As for the threat of beating herself up...make the lawyer and counselor aware of this and figure out a strategy for avoiding her wrongful claims. You're in for a tough time, so batten down the hatches and hang in there. I wish you luck.

Answer 6

The next time she threatens to beat herself up to make it look like you did it, call the police.  This is a direct threat, one that intentionally could cause legal problems for you, and another, that would be grounds for a "5150" hold and psychiatric evaluation since she is threatening harm to herself.  My advice to you is to call the police and have this type of behavior "documented".  When this type of behavior is documented, you can obtain a restraining order against her.

Answer 7

That's nuts, I am sorry to hear that. Sounds like no matter what you do, it will be a tough situation to get out of, but you will just have to do it. You may want to get a lawyer involved to prevent some things like that from happening. Perhaps you should try taking your daughter with you because it doesn't sound like your wife would be a good role model for her.

Wish you the best of luck!

Answer 8

Start planning to leave with your child.  If your wife is crazy there is no telling what she is capable of.  I work with people who are in this situation and once they get out of it they are transformed.  You may still have to let your daughter see her mother but at least you can control the majority of things your daughter learns.  I know it is a big step but if your wife hits or threatens you what do you think she will do to your child as she gets older?

Bite the bullet and start making a new life.  Women have been leaving abusive husbands for ages, you can do it too.   Just don't let her know you are leaving until you have left.

Another thing, if your wife hits you again call the cops so it is documented somewhere. I know it's embarrassing for men to do that but it is necessary if you want the outcome to be in your favor.