How do I let go of my grudge?

Question

I'm holding a grudge against some people who've done something really, really horrible a little while back. How do I forgive and let go?

Answer 1

As time goes by, you'll realise how little those people meant to you, and how there is no point is wasting time thinking about how horrible they were. Trust me sweetie, after a few years, you'll wonder why you let it bother you at all. I don't think you need to be able to "ok, I forgive you", it's enough to be able to say, even just to yourself, "you mean nothing to me, nothing you ever did or ever will try to do can affect me. You mean nothing to me" Good luck hun.  

Answer 2

Never hold grudges. If you hate someone, they will always have a hold on you  

Answer 3

Truth is that it's hard to forget it !

sometimes you have to hold your shelf true to your own actions.

as there is a guy at work I don't ever talk to - he just is an *** !

my sister too - she is just trouble

Lowe's hardware - just don't go to them anymore"poor service"

these things are hard to keep

but being true to your shelf is what matters...

Answer 4

You have to realize that not forgiving those people only brings you continued hurt and pain.  Being angry and bitter takes away from your own happiness, because as long as you are bitter and angry towards those people, they will have some control over your life. Let go and let God.

Answer 5

Just forgive them and forget. However, you should aways have in mind that those people might want a revenge!

Answer 6

Just think about how you would feel iit was you doing that horrible thing. You would want forgiveness, forgive and forget =)

Answer 7

Actually holding a grudge against someone is helping along self destruction of you! It will not only grow into something you feed on but it can immensely take over your normal thought process. You cannot change what happened and you either get past the fact that yes you were mistreated but two wrongs don't make a right and if you think for one minute its gonna change anything it will not. If they ask forgiveness then of course forgive. We learn by "Not" forgetting our past trials and mistakes we make but as long as you let it live in  your mind it will show in your personality dimming your true light. You have many more things to worry about than what has already happened. Fight all grudges in life. We all have better things to do than brood over what people (that have no idea how to act) have done to us. Rise above it don't stoop to the same level. God Bless!

Answer 8

It really depends on how bad this thing was they have done. There is a saying once bitten twice shy. No-one likes to be hurt but sometimes we unintentionally hurt others by what we do. If it was intentional what was done to you then I don't think you have to forgive them, just find more mature people to associate with.

Answer 9

Well it depends on what it is but i think at the end of the day you have to move on, you can forgive but i doubt you'll ever forget but in time it will get easier. Just because you forgive its doesn't mean you have to start being friends, it just might make things less uncomfortable between you if you can be prepared to out the past behind you. After all past is past and their is nothing you can do about it.  

Answer 10

Horrible is a wide word.

Horrible because they were happy with someone while u were miserable?

Horrible because they killed a cat and took pleasure in it?

The problem is that you cannot change the past. No one can.

So it's inefficient to blame someone for doing something in the past.

He can repair something now, but u cannot change the past.

Everytime u think of it, u will feel impotent because u cannot change the events that happened...

First u need to accept they happened..

And to accept the freedom of people. He chose that path. U can choose also. He can always choose whatever he likes and you cannot do a thing.

That's why we humans are beautiful. Because we can choose. We are free to choose even the worst choice.

The grudge is the effect of you wanting something out of him. And he didn't obey.

That's why u feel revengeful. Because he didn't act like a slave or object to conform your desire.

That's why you hate him.

But think a little.. Why do you want something out of people? Do you think you will be happy this way or what?

Happiness has nothing to do with people or objects. Stop trying to force persons to conform your expectations. And I'm not saying this as an expert. I hold grudges also, and what I am telling you I am telling to myself also.

Happiness has to do with YOU. Your expression.

Be more preoccupied with acting freely right now. Be here and now more spontaneous. And you will happier day by day until you will feel so happy that u will not care about what X did. Maybe feel sorry for him, or sad, but you will feel happy for him also because he has the right to choose in this life. To be human...

The problem is not the grudge. The problem is that you want to possess people. To get something out of them. And you can't possess a human being. Because her freedom of choice.

That's why people suffer. That's why you suffer. That's why I suffer.

Answer 11

forgive but never forget.

that's all I can tell you.

Answer 12

Think about how you holding that grudge affects YOU.  You having a grudge doesn't affect them, only you. It brings you stress, unhappiness, and anger.  Without it, you could have more happiness and less stress or worry. And they probably don't even know how you are being affected...so,release the grudge to help yourself heal, then work on forgiveness later. In a sense, you're letting whatever they did live on and on with that grudge...

Answer 13

You can't change the past. However, you can change your future by taking action in the present.

The bad feelings you have against these people don't have any physical existence: they exist only inside your own head. Realising this is the key to eliminating it. The grudge belongs to you.

You can choose to forgive and forget, and feel sorry for these poor misguided individuals, or you can harbour your grudge and ill-will and feel bad whenever you think of them. It's your choice.

To get rid of the bad feeling, just say to yourself what's done is done, it's time to move on, my life will be better if I can eliminate this source of stress, I really don't need to worry about it, life's too short. I bear these people no ill will.

Answer 14

Its difficult to let go but you finally will get some peace if you decide that you cannot change people but you can change yourself only.  People are different and they react differently to you so I think you have to realize this and leave them alone and justice will prevail in the end.  What goes around comes around and never forget this.

Answer 15

To me, holding onto a grudge is satisfying evil. Regarding that particular instance, you'll only eat yourself up and become a very ugly person. Did this horrible thing happen to you? Is it a crime that can be reported? Either way, prayer helps, and you can be a better person to forgive someone, then tuck it away. Best of luck to you.

Answer 16

God wants you to forgive, i say you follow God and forgive :)

Answer 17

just get some revenge, that will release the grudge