How do I let him know that i care and that he will loose me if he can't stop?

Question

I have been going thru a rough time at home and I have recently started living on my own because I just can't take living with people anymore. My family is completely inconsiderate of the things that I do for them. I have racked up credit card debit because of them and I am soo frustrated. My boyfriend reads all my text messages but yet he has a lock on his fone (i know this because every time he gets a message he has to press the unlock code before he can read it). He has in the past read my emails and chat logs (we shared a computer and i store my passwords). I don't care if he has access simply because i trusted that he would trust me enough to not read it. I'll be honest i have had the opportunity to read his mails once but i decide against it. I feel that it is invasion of privacy. He feels that he should know everything about me and i just don't agree that he has to get the full bill and receipt. He even wants me to tell him wat my cousin and I talk about. complains about me going out and when my friends visit which has only been 3 times in 2 months. He is always mad at me and now I feel that i am displaying nonchalance. I do care about him and i don't treat him bad. I invite him out with me and my friend... and alone but he never goes and just wants me to stay home. I dunno what to do now. I'm 22 he is 24 but to me he is acting 16.

Right now I just feel like what he wants is for me to stay home, not talk to anyone and only give my attention to him... thing is that is hard because i have such a demanding life. I'm a career woman and we have a son to take care of. I feel trapt yet I don't want to loose him.

been together for 6 years.

Answer 1

Your situation sounds so similar to mine. My boyfriend and I had a super possessive relationship and have been together since I was 15. I'm now 22 and he is 24 and we've been broken up for about a year but still living together for right now for convenience. Anyway, basically he was always more possessive than me and we both isolated ourselves from everyone but it was never good enough. The slightest little things I might say or do would set him off on a jealous rant. I think he finally realized that he I wasn't worth all of the effort and stress he was putting on himself and he made the decision to break up. I think relationships like this are extremely unhealthy so be careful and try not to give in to any irrational behavior, while still being considerate of his feelings. Sort of like, pick your battles I guess. Make him choose what situations he will share with you and which situations he absolutely can't tolerate you being a part of. Find out what his dealbreakers are and if it's too restrictive for you, better to break it off sooner than later. Good luck!