How do I let my HS sweetheart, my other 1/2, my husband go??

Question

I've been married with my HS sweetheart for about 4 years. He's great. We had problems like any other marriage couple. Recently I found out that he was cheating on me with different women. One of who he fell in love with. I love him and was willing to let him go if he did in fact loved this women, but he would not leave the house. He was honest to say that he loved me very much but he also loved her and that he was confused. After two months I said to myself - enough is enough! I was ready to start the divorce paper, but he said to me that he would forget about her but needed my help. He could not see his future with her and her kid. I did my best to keep the relationship together. He talked to me about his feelings and we would text almost all day. It hurt to know what he had to say about her but I though this was going to help him forget. He would get mad very quickly about stupid things. I started wondering why, then he stop texting as ofter and when Friday came no text all morning. I text him, called him, and no answer. I had a bad feeling, so I called his job and they told me he wasn't there. I went crazy! I ripped every single picture we had together. I was going out he came home and he's excused was that he really had a bad day at work that he could stay there. He said he needed some space and the batteries on his cell was dead. I tried to forget the incident and spend his birthday with him. All day was great! Last Sunday I checked his cell at 1:00am and found a text message from this woman. The next day I confronted him, he denied everything, I told him that we need to separate and file for divorce. He kept saying "Do whatever you want". He is still at the house leaving my breakfast ready every morning and post workout protein shakes. We are not speaking at all... but it hurts too much!! I don't know if he'll leave.. I want him to but then at the same time I don't. I don't have any social life, I have 1 friend that is 10 years older then me. This is really though for me right now...

Answer 1

He does not think you'll ever kick him out...  therefore he won't change.

You should start living your life for YOU!

Answer 2

Here are a couple thing to think about:

Time heels all wounds, all wounds heel.

You cant find Mr. Right if you are stuck with Mr. Wrong

Answer 3

when you found out, you should have left. if you have kids, he has to leave, but if you don't and you can afford a place to live, them pack up and leave. Some people claim to be confused, but there shouldn't be certain confusion, unconfuse him! make the decision for him and leave!

Answer 4

This is how a lot of marriages that start too young can end up.  I would really try to let him go for good.  If he was unfaithful to you with more than one woman, it's probably safe to say that it's going to be a habit for the rest of your marriage.  He was also having a hard time choosing between his WIFE and some mistress.  Marriage is very sierous, sweetheart.  It's not a game that you play with your high school boyfriend and then 'ask him to choose" when he cheats.  It's not an option.  

I recommend trying to end this as soon as you can.  Get out on your own.  Experience life alone for a little while.  Allow yourself to grow up a little as an independent person, and then you'll be ready to choose someone who will love you with his whole heart, cherish you, and never betray you.  That's what you deserve, and that's what's out there for you.  Good luck.

Answer 5

Each day you are apart gets easier. Time heals. Divorce works. You will feel better in the long run as a freebird.

Answer 6

Why should he leave? Every time he kicks you, you bounce so obligingly. You can't even keep up your determination long enough to ask the question. You might as well tell him to start bring them home. You'd have some company, and you could all sit around talking about what a jerk he is and how you just don't know what to do.  

Answer 7

It sounds hard.

I don't know if this can be of any help, but the first thing comes to my mind is this: did you every try to find an other man for yourself?

Answer 8

There is a lots of stories like yours. It is very hurtful.I can tell you are going through h**l right now...When you will leave him there will be another circle of h**l but...after that you WILL SEE the  light in the end of a tonnel. Many women make this mistake when they forgiving,letting him in again  and again but it is endless situation. It is gonna happen over and over again.

I suggest to file a divorce.It will be better to go through this painful divorce right now with a garantee to find your happiness in a future than to stay in this marriage forever and sometimes at late 40s look back and be very sorry that you didn't divorce back in early 20s!!!

Good luck!!

p.s. Everybody deserve to be happy! Happiness in your hands!  

Answer 9

Of course its going to hurt, but its like pulling off a bandaid, you can either rip it off or take it off slowly but either way its gotta come off. I'm sorry that this guy has crushed you, but the bottom line is he's a cheater and you can't trust him. You need to focus on you, don't go back to him, don't fall for his c**p, don't try and convince yourself that things can change and you can get things back. He's pretty much destroyed all you had together, so why are you trying to clean up his mess? You are trying to hang on to what is comfortable, which is totally understandable, but you are going to end up hurt again and again if you don't end this relationship. I understand its easier said than done, but if you don't do it you will hurt much more for much longer...

Answer 10

Do you feel that you will not find anyone else? Do you have weight to lose? Work on yourself, you can let him stay there for a little longer while you prepare yourself to be free of him. Mentally tell yourself that you will no longer live with him. You then need to meet friends and build a network of people around you that you have things in common with and you can use to distract yourself from the pain until the day comes when the pain isn't so strong. LIke the other people said, time will heal you, just take your time getting out as well, first you need to mentally free yourself from him before you can physically do it.

You will be better off without him, you really will, even though he is all you know right now, and you may be nervous that you dont know how to kiss someone, date someone, things like that. Dont worry, it will come naturally to you and just work on making yourself a better person, picture yourself happy and you will be.

Try reading the book "the secret"