How do I maintain a realtionship with my girls after a divorce?

Question

I am getting a divorce here in the near future I have to daughter that I love with all my heart and soul. I am in the military and my soon to be X is planning to move to colorado. I will try my hardest to get stationed there, but being in the military nothing is never guaranteed. My question is how can I maintain a realitionship with my girls and to let them know that I love them and don't like being away from them. Will someone give me an ideas.

Answer 1

The most important thing to maintaining a good relationship with your girls is to maintain a civil and respectful communication with their mother. Don't get caught up in the negativity that can sometimes follow a divorce, since it will only be bad for the girls.

You can also do the things that you may be used to doing if you are deployable.  You didn't say how old the girls were, but this could be things like getting a web cam & setting up daily /weekly chats with them.  Or recording yourself reading a favorite story, or writing stories together by email.  Make sure you communicate with them as often as possible, and with as little "agenda" as possible.  Send them clippings from the newspaper that you think they might be interested in, send them a build a bear with your voice recorded in it, take pictures of your life and the things you do to send them.

Most importantly make sure they know you are interested in them, and that you care about what is important to them, and that you will be there for them in as many ways as you can.  

Answer 2

Lots of letters and phone calls I would say.  If you don't get stationed in Colorado email, snail mail and the telephone should be your best friend.  I think this is the best way if you cannot see them everyday.

Answer 3

First I just wanted to say thank you so much for answering my question. It helped me feel better!

Now, I think there are a lot of ways that can help. It will be hard, and you will be sad, but you cannot let that ruin you. You really just need to stay in contact with her as much as you can! Send her stuff...ALL THE TIME! Im a girl, and I love suprises. I don't know how old your daughter is, but Im 20, and still love them! A nice card or letter every once in a while will help, and to make it even better add something in there like a little gift. It dosn't have to be much, but something. Like, get her a 20.00 gift card to her favorite store, or send her an I-tunes card or something. Make sure you try to call her almost every single day...even if you do not have anything to say or talk about. Tell her how much you miss her, and how much you love her! Take some leave for a few days every once in a while and go and visit her! Even buy plane tickets and fly her down or up to see you as well! Being concerned, and being involved will help you out a lot. Im not trying to say to "bribe" her by sending her gifts, but I think you get the picture.  

Answer 4

Try to call her a lot, send her pics and letters. let her know you love her very much.  

Answer 5

Be sure to call them, email them, and/or text message them every day. Be involved in their lives. Know what classes they're taking, who their teachers are, who their best friends are, what their hobbies are, how they spend their time. Plan vacations that will be just the 3 of you.  Tell them all the time that you love them.

Answer 6

pay your childsupport, lord knows mom will want that. write them when you are away. call them when you get the chance. let them know even though you and mom aren't together that they are still your everything. tell them about your travels and your plan to move to colorado as soon as you can. do NOT lose contact!

Answer 7

You sound like a good daddy. Call your girls every chance you get. Send lots of pictures. See them every chance you get. One of the biggest things to remember is to NEVER trash or bad-mouth their mom. That will just alienate them. Don't let their mom bully you into seeing them less than you want to see them. I wish you the best. Girls with involved fathers do much better than those who are neglected by their dads.