How do I make her life special?

Question

I am moving to LA in 5 days. I have a 7 week old daughter. I really want another kid. So over the past few weeks I've been looking at adoption websites and making some calls. I have my heart set on a 1 1/2 old girl. Her mom died and her dad is drug addict. I am very intrested. The bad thing? I'm a single parent and I'm dating my new boss (Please don't coment about this). He says that he doesn't want to sign the adoption papers until our relationship goes somewhere, so I'm going to be adopting this girl alone. Any ideas on how to make the girl's life the best it can possibly be? I want her to know that I will not hurt her like her father has.

Answer 1

be a great mom and dont remind her of her druggie dad

Answer 2

your heart is definitely in the right place, and i commend you for having another child on your own.  i'm sure you will be a wonderful mother to her along with your first baby, and like the other respondent noted, there is no reason to treat her like an "adopted" child.  she is a baby who will love and adore her mother (you) as you do her.  best of luck that it all goes through!

Answer 3

STOP POSTING!  We have answered this question for you many times.

Make an honest and productive life for the (poor) child you have!

Answer 4

By opening your heart to this little girl and treating her as your own - with unconditional love - you will bring beauty and stability to her life.

Good for you!  Good luck.

Answer 5

shes only 1 1/2 so theres no need to tell treat her like an adopted daughter. . treat her like your own with no doubts and shell believe that shes your daughter that way she wont have any doubts about you. you should be fine.

Answer 6

Just give her all the love and nurturing she needs.  Do everything you can to not let her down when you make a commitment (this builds the trust that was broken early in her life).

Read as much as you can.  Go to http://www.tapestrybooks.com and find books on attachment, grief, loss and adopting "older" kids (since she's not an infant, you'll benefit from a good chunk of the information, but not all of it will be applicable).  If you don't have a big budget to purchase books see if you can find them at the library or see if your state office of child welfare has a lending library resource they can point you to.

Get around other adoptive parents.  Go to a support group of other adoptive parents.  You'll need this as your child grows and goes through all the adoption related stuff.  They'll also help you with the stuff you'll be going through.

Surround yourself with supportive people.  Get your friends and relatives to read some of the same books you'll read and help them support you.

Go for it!  Walk through this process & add to your family.  God will bless you for it.

Answer 7

You have issues.  Please seek counseling.  You are seperated, not yet divorced, have a newborn, and are moving cross country.  You need to focus on making your daughter's life stable before adopting another.

Answer 8

Just treat her like your own child.  I think when she sees how you treat  a smaller baby sweet and loving that she'll see you're not bad.  Good luck!

Answer 9

treat her like your daughter and the rest will take care of itself

Answer 10

She won't know what her father has or hasn't done because of her age.  The only way she will know that is if you tell her.  The only thing you need to worry about is being a good mom, treat her like you treat your own daughter.

Answer 11

Think HARD about the mom that you WANT to be...and do your very best, every day to be that mom.  Kids want your TIME...not money and toys and candy and, and, and.

Answer 12

All you need to do is tell her that you love her everyday.  I am adopted and there is nothing more special than my adopted parents coming up to me for no reason and giving me a hug and telling me that they love me more than life.  she will love you for saving her life.  you will never know how much it really means to her.  without you, she may not have the life that she really deserves.  Good luck with her and I wish you the best.

Answer 13

Be the Very BEST Mom to her and treat her as if she is your natural child. Give her a quality life, which she would NOT have had if she was NOT adopted. Hats off to you for adopting! Best Wishes!

Answer 14

She's too young to remember her life before.  Just be her mom and love her as your own and she will have a great life.  Later on, let her know that she is adopted and tell her that she is special because you got to choose her.  Maybe when she is older and starts asking about her biological parents, you can tell her what you feel she can handle.  You are doing a great thing.  I would like to adopt too, but we are not financially able.

Answer 15

Just be the best mom you possibly can.  Show her lots of love and understanding and guidance.  Make her a special bedroom of her very own and introduce her to her new sister, tell her that she will be the big sister, and that you will never let anything happen to her or hurt her and that she is safe with you.  It will all work out.

Good Luck!

Answer 16

Good For You!

just love her. you're a genuine person i could tell and she will sense it too. best wishes to the both of you.