How do I make him go away?

Question

I can't seem to get my soon-to-be ex husband to realize that I don't want to be with him anymore. I recently filed for divorce but he's still trying to fight to stay together. I'm trying to be nice to him because we have children together but he seems to misunderstand my intentions. I am about ready to explode on him! What should I do?

Answer 1

file a tresspasing order or stalking order and make sure he is well aware then have the courts decide on visitation for kids and all limits for time to see and safe space areas for both

Answer 2

Just be totally straight and honest and tell him that you no longer what to stay married to him.

Answer 3

don't talk to him about anything but the children and their issues.....don't explode on him, he's having a hard time realizing you want a divorce and he apparently doesn't....it takes time

Answer 4

You're going through a divorce. See your lawyer about a restraining order. They're very common in divorce, and it can limit contact. Best of all, it makes it pretty clear you're serious.  

Answer 5

i hope it works out  

Answer 6

Can't you see he still loves you.

Why are you leaving anyways?

Give us the reason why?

To me this sounds like you just leaving just to leave.

Am I right?

Answer 7

If you feel unsafe in this situation, talk to your lawyer, or the cops. If you don't feel threatened then you could just have a sit down with him, and really make him understand whats going on....good luck

Answer 8

don't explode he still loves you

Answer 9

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x3F3n8yt...

Answer 10

Just tell him, in impossible-to-misunderstand terms, YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIM.

Answer 11

This sounds similar to what I'm going through with my partner, but in our case, I actually won my partner's wish to stay.

Basically since I've been through this, the person who is fighting to stay together DESPERATELY NEEDS, not wants, but NEEDS to be with you for whatever reasons, financial, emotional, co-dependency problems, low-self esteem, comfort, social status, image, it can be a whole number of things, or he still has feelings for you which are now going to end, and he's unprepared for it.

He's taking your niceness as a sign that you might be willing to get back together with him.

I'd keep being nice and letting him now that maybe one day, maybe someday,...things might change.

Let him know that it's still happening, your decision to move on with your life, try to read between the lines, try to find out what his REAL intentions are for being so nice to you because I'm sure there's more to it than he's letting on,

and just do your best to play your cards right here so that the children will have a friendly daddy that will still think the best of you if you break this up right, and you'll win.

Don't turn this into a "go away, F u" fest where it gets nasty and bitter.

Honestly, investigate this a bit

Answer 12

Well, you did marry him and make babies with him.. clearly you loved him at one point and it seems as if he STILL loves you, reguardless of the fact the you DON'T any longer. What you need to do is sit him down and have a genuine conversation with him about why you've decided to move on. Just make sure you consider his emotions too cuz you don't want a bad breakup and that way you'll both have a better understanding of where the other is coming from..think of your children if nothing else

Answer 13

Best thing to do is stay calm...Heck he can want all he wants doesn't mean he will get you back.

Answer 14

just give him space for now and of course for YOURSELF. he's like that because he can't accept the fact that u uys are separating. it will take time. just dont talk to him or stay away from him except if its about your children.

Answer 15

Was he this attentive when you were married?  I think he's having a hard time getting used to the idea that you no longer want to be married to him.  

Report this behaviour to your attorney immediately and get advice on what to do.  While he may not be acting strange now, it can escalate, once reality sets in.  Before things get out of hand, let your attorney handle this and stop the harassment before it gets worse.

Good luck.  

Answer 16

If being nice does not work, you obviously have to go to stricter measures "if" you want him gone (other than visitation with the children).Talk to your lawyer and you can get a restraining order for him to stay away other than visitation with the children.

Having said that, if he is non violent and just not get the picture, you may have a tough time for a restraining order. Perhaps a letter from your lawyer to his lawyer.

Find a male friend to come over and play the role like he's your new boyfriend. This may p**s him off that he'll go away or he may then do something stupid, then there are your grounds for a court restraining order.

Answer 17

You are doing the right thing for the 'sake of the children' over time and all his failed attempts, he will finally understand that there is no future.  But this will take a very, very long time.  And he may eventually not be so nice once he figures out that it is over.  Just be prepared.  Be the best mom you can be, to where he cannot point fingers at you with the courts.  

Answer 18

Wow. Move away. Cease contact. File a restraining order. Shoot him. That's all I can think of right now...

Edit: I read your question wrong. I thought it said no children. He is doing the right thing trying to keep his family together. Sorry, but that's the truth. Your kids deserve you to at least address what has completely shut you off. Unless he did something really horrible then he's right for trying.

Answer 19

Unless you are afraid of him, agree to go to a marriage counselor. He will see you are giving it one more shot and if you do continue with the divorce he will have to admit its over. Who knows, maybe you could work things out.

Answer 20

I think you should be firm and whatever you do don't become weak and let him in. Don't give him room to think there's still a chance. Don't give mixed signals to him! Be consistent in your actions so he knows you are serious. Oh and he really can't go away, puff, because your children need their father, don't forget about their feelings.