How do I make my boyfriend put effort?

Question

Hey guys - yet another boyfriend question!

So me and my boy have been together for 8 months. Things have been a little rocky lately and we decided that maybe seeing each other every single day is hurting us rather than benefiting us. He says that is most of the reason why the romance isnt like it used to be and such. He says it frustrates him when I text him all the time wanting to know where he is and what he is doing. I agreed to that. However, how do I make him care more? I feel like if I dont call or text neither he will. Is there a way I can wake him up and make him do things cause hes scared he'll lose me? Maybe if I dont call or text and stop acting like I care soooo much h**l think somethings up and start wanting to chase after me more? Help please! We both really love each other.

Answer 1

what is with you girls trying to MAKE guys do something?

you can't MAKE someone do anything they don't want to do.

maybe you are too clingy.  i see my husband everyday and we LOVE IT...and have since day one...

why do you always stalk him and ask him what he's doing and text him non stop and act crazy?  guys don't like psycho.  

if you feel like if you don't call or text, that he won't...then you are with the wrong guy.

secret: when a guy is into you, he will call and text and make effort.

so maybe he's over it and doesn't want to break your heart cause he's scared you'll go super psycho since you've always shone that you can be a little crazy.  

and with your next man, just relax and get a hobby or something.

Answer 2

just stop seeing him so often and dont text much either. remember; "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Answer 3

kiss him more and have it it might work lol

Answer 4

more s*x

Answer 5

I went thru the same thing with my ex. I can honestly say it sounds like he is trying to break loose from you with out hurting your feelings. You can't make someone care more. Believe me I tried everything to keep me and my ex together but if he doesn't want you calling or texting that means he just doesn't want to deal with you and him and he's trying to get you to understand that. I think you should just move on and date other guys and if yall are right for each other he will come back..they always do.

Answer 6

It wont ever change.  I have been with my man for almost 8 years and I am still going through the same thing.  I love him too, but we are only happy as long as I accept what he puts out, and that isn'tt much.  We live together and have for 7 years and it is still the sameold thing.  Trust me when I tell you some people are just incapable of making you feel secure in the relationship.  they don't know how to show emotion.

Answer 7

I WISH I knew the answer to this question. I'm in the same predicament. Except that I couldn't get him to understand what I was saying. I tried talking to him several times about it. He had never been in a long-term relationship and didn't understand that you need to work on it. He thought he should be able to hang out with his friends even though his job schedule seriously limited our time together.

I couldn't get him to put in the effort and now we may be ending the relationship.

What ever you do, don't play games.

Good luck.

Answer 8

I think you are on the right path here.  Back off a bit and see his reaction.  If he cares for you then this will shake him up a bit.  Sounds like he really wants to be in a relationship with you.

Answer 9

don't text him or call him and then when he calls you tell ill call you later I'm busy keep him wanting you more.  

Answer 10

Playing games with people's emotions is a good way to create problems rather than solve them.  Men are raised in an environment of "control," so they get very uncomfortable about situations which make them think they are "being checked up on."  Texting him all the time and wanting to know where he is and what he is doing is your way of "connecting," but he sees it as "controlling."  You need to talk to him and explain your concern that if you don't make the effort to communicate with him, he won't communicate with you often enough to make you feel "in touch."   Trying to manipulate him into doing what you want because you have made him feel he's "scared to lose you" is not a mature approach to your relationship.

Answer 11

  Do another guy!!! that will awake him for SURE!!!!!

Answer 12

Don't smother your boyfriends...and don't think you can ever change someone.  If he doesn't wanna put more effort into showing you that he cares, you cannot make him.

Maybe he's just not that into you.

Answer 13

hmm.....well  tell him how u feel and try to understand him then do some nice things for him so u wont lose him.

Answer 14

He's feeling like you don't trust him.  Give him a little breathing room,  tell him you're sorry for always asking where he is and what he's doing.  You just want to be a part of his life when he's not with you.  Then ask him when/if it is okay to call/text him.

Answer 15

You are being too desperate and I think he has already lost interest in you.

The longer a guy knows you, the more effort he will put out if he cares about you.

Don't chase him,. he is the hunter, not you.

Answer 16

Once you have smothered a guy, it is going to be darn hard to get him back.  In effect, you have already lost him.  You don't have much choice but to leave him be and see what happens.  If he cares he will make the effort... but coming from a guy I can tell you once you have gone down that road of checking up on him and so on... it is not likely he will ever really trust you again.  When a girl checks up on a guy like that, it puts out this big signal that you want to take control and you are jealous and possessive.  All you can do is back off and see what happens, but I hate to tell you, from his point of view, you guys are just about done.  There is like  a ten percent chance you can keep him by backing off.