How do I make my sons parole agent wake up and see he isn't following the rules they gave him????

Question

I want to start off by defending myself all though I don't know why.... I did not raise my son to be a bad person and for some reason he turned out this way. He refuses to take meds for border line bipolar. He has been in and out of trouble since he was 14 yrs old. He was even in prison by 18..... He is a father of 2 and one on the way. He threatens his girlfriend each time he looses his temper he threatens me (I wished he would get violent with me so I could have him locked up for good!) His girlfriend has cleaned up her act since the pregnacy of her first child, but she keeps taking my son back after they split up. I love my grandchildren more then life and I don't want them raised around this behavior! I have tried to speak to his agent and get no where, she thinks that since he refuses to take his bipolar meds i should be a better parent and take care of him...He is 21 yrs old...how much more can I do I support all 4 of them he won't even keep a job!!!! please help if you can I don't know how much more i can take of this!!!!

If it helps we live in Ill. I am not even sure if it's McHenry or Lake County that has his agent now.....

Answer 1

Let him go.

Get on with your life.

This will never end. I've been there.

Do what you can for the kids but let him go.

Answer 2

dont you think that it's kind of cold hearted to lock up your own son, you sound like a brainwashed servant of the man

Answer 3

Get child protective services involved, and have the kids removed.  The girlfriend must not have cleaned up her act, or she'd have quit spreading her legs for him.

Don't feel bad about locking up your own son.  My husband and I had his younger brother locked up once, not that he straightened out any, but he no longer does c**p to us.

Answer 4

If you keep covering his butt, he'll never change.  Don't feel guilty about the person he has grown into.  Its not your fault.  Untie the apron strings, hand him the apron, and tell him he's on his own.  You will be doing him a favor in the end.  You will be forcing him to grow up,  which it sounds to me like he needs to do.  Let him stand on his own 2 feet.  Believe me!  Good luck, and I hope you listen to this advice.

Answer 5

I feel for you and pray for you and your family.  One thing you have to realize is that your son is grown.  Unfortunately, because he is not consistent in taking his meds, he is allowing his bipolar episodes to rule his life.  The only recourse you have is:1) if he threatens or harms his children or you.  Even his girlfriend has to decide if she wants to continue to enable him or get her children out of that situation and prepare a better life for herself and them.  Your son will have to do something really 'crazy' in order to get the attention of law enforcement.  They are not there to help you in that case.  They will only step in if he breaks the law.  If he hits you, or threatens you - that's the only recourse you have to press charges and have him put away.  He cannot be forced to take his meds.  

I know it's a tough situation, but that's just the way the law works.  My fiances' brother is bipolar and he was into all kinds of trouble before he threatened his mother and she finally had him arrested and put away.  He did some other things that got him arrested, but the bottom line is - now he is under protection and taking his meds - he has no choice - he will be incarcerated for the next five years.   I know you love your son - but you will have to give him some tough love and separate yourself as much as you can.  

Answer 6

If I were in your situation, I would put everything in writing (with evidence such as video if possible) and send it via CERTIFIED mail.  

Also send copies, again certified -- to his superiors.  

Tell them that you believe he is a danger to himself and others -- especially because there are children involved.