How do I make sure that my mom gets along with my fiance's parents? (see details)?

Question

My mom is a traditional, religious, VERY conservative woman. She is not very open minded AT ALL...while she approves of interracial relationships, she is ok with them as long as everybody "acts" the same (i.e., conservative AMERICAN)....she is not open to any ethnic traditions at all (which is one of the reasons why she and my dad divorced -- he was Latino).

My fiance is from the West Indies...(she personally thinks people from this area are nasty...idk why)...but he was born/raised here.

She is unwilling to have any of his customs at the wedding. Even more, she HATES his mom...I think the accent just put her WAAAY off...she claims his mom was pushy with her on the phone, very invasive/too personal questions.

I've talked to her, and she agrees to be nice. But how can I get her & his mom to NOT argue? Rather, how can I get his mom's 'ethnicity' to not bother her????

Answer 1

You can't do that.You can only pray for the best.Because it sounds like you're mom hs to have things her way or no way in her little world My mother did not like interracial marriages and i married a Mexican american and guess what in the end she was really good friends with my husband and she called him her son.Give her some time to adjust she may come around she may not.But tell her its you're wedding and any rudeness will not be acceptable that you will ask anyone who is to leave and make sure she know that means her or you're future mother in law...don't back down.good luck

Answer 2

Unfortunately you can't change the minds of closed-minded people.  My mom is the same way and it can be very nerve wracking thinking she is going to say something offensive or renig on her agreement to be polite, so at least your mom has agreed to be nice.  Here is the thing, it is your wedding so it isn't her decision whether or not any of his customs are going to be in place - stand strong on this or mom is going to try and run your life until she dies.  She doesn't have to like your mother in law, but she does have to respect your choices and be a proper "American" with good manners since that is so important to her.  You can't make your mom not be bothered by the ethnicity, she just needs to accept your new family.  Good luck!!

Answer 3

HONEY SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MOM HAS HER MIND MADE UP,,AND HIS MOM,,TOO,,TRY NOT TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT  THEY WANT OR HOW THEY ACT,,THIS IS YOUR WEDDING N U N HIM SHOULD HAVE IT THE WAY YOU WANT IT,,AND IF THEY DISAGREE YOU TELL THEM BOTH THAT ITS YOUR WEDING NOT THERES,,,GOOD LUCK,,REMEMBER THIS IS YOUR N URE BFS WEDING TO REMEMBER  FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE DONT LET THE MOMAS MESS IT UP,FOR YOU BOTH,,,,PEACE