How do I move from the nerd lunch table to the cool table?

Question

Is there some sort of formal process through which I can move into the echelons of a more privileged cafeteria stratum ? Like do I need to fight someone, or go steady with a cool girl? Please help. I'm sick of people filching my tator tots.

Btw, lil' smokies are the best!

Answer 1

You have to pick the biggest, ugliest, meanest looking "cool" guy and beat the schitt out of him.  Then you have to sodomize him in front of the whole cafeteria.  Then you'll be accepted at the cool table.  That's how I did it in prison anyway.

Answer 2

wear a speedo while you eat your lil' smokies--that should get you there for sure! ;)

Answer 3

remove your glasses,become shallow,and a judgemental follower- you'll fit right in ,with the in crowd

Answer 4

if certain people don't want you at their table, why would you even WANT to sit by them?!  find real friends that like you for YOU!

Answer 5

I think you are full of bologna.

And yes lil' smokies are the bomb biggity.

Answer 6

People sit with those that they are friends with.  If you're not friends with those people, why would you even want to sit with them?  they didn't do that c**p at my school.  Or maybe I was one of the cool kids, but we never made people feel bad if they wanted to sit with us and we were always nice.

Lil' smokies rule, but only with barbecue sauce!

Answer 7

Honestly, if you can convince a really cool girl to date you, then you might stand a chance at getting in with them.  Though, if she drops you, you'll probably end up right back where you started.

Answer 8

In 10 years, the "cool" people will be working for the nerds. You'll eat in the executive dining room, they'll eat at burger king.

Answer 9

Why do you even care?

After high school, none of this clique-y c**p will matter anymore anyway.

Be who you are and be friends with people who actually care about you and your well being.

The "cool" kids obviously aren't your friends and don't care about you, or you'd be sitting over there already. s***w them. You don't want to go and beg for a space at the cool table. They might end up pitying you and letting you sit there, but they'd still make fun of you behind your back.

Stick to your real friends. Be yourself and everything will work itself out in the end.

Answer 10

oh silly, just watch a John Hughes film!!!!

okay, if you want to be serious, then fine.

You could make a few friends with the people who are obviously JERKS and won't go anywhere in life and don't even WANT to sit with you, who will then invite you to their table.

Just be brutally honest, hon.

Answer 11

You could just walk over there and sit down.