How do I move on from losing my second family?

Question

How do I get over losing my second family. It's a family I used to babysit for all the time and became very close with. They included me in all aspects of their life and took me in as family, but then after a year abruptly "dumped" me because their daughter was getting too attached to me. I work at the daycare the girl goes to and see her for a few mintues a couple times a week and see the parents a couple times a week when they pick up.

It's been three months since I've been included in their lives and I'm still having trouble moving on because we had all been very close (the mom even considered me a friend and confided a lot in me). Everytime they ask me how I am or are extra friendly to me I regain hope that our relationship will be rekindled, and I just keep getting hurt.

How do I move on and how do I learn to give up hope? Holding onto hope that things may go back to how they were is just making things harder. But I don't know how to just let them go and move on.

Answer 1

You could, of course, say you have missed not seeing the child and that now and then you would like to take her to the park.

The parents sound a bit odd to me and I think that there may be another issue here like your other answerer said.  Maybe the father looked at you a bit too long, or maybe the mum wanted her little girl to be as excited to see her as she obviouly was to see you.  Jealousy is a funny thing, but let it go, get on with your life and show them you have a real life too.

Dont make yourself too available if they ask you out, say that you will have to check your diary and let them know.

Answer 2

Oh Sheesh...

Not another....

You just have to wait, move on when YOU are ready.  I know it's hard.  My Ex just got Married today... Yay!

Just "Act as if", use the messages boards on the net to vent, just search on it.

Here's 2:

http://rrr.kimcm.dk/  -- good folks

http://www.divorcebusting.com/  -- slower answers due to traffic, but helpful

Good Luck.  And remember, You WILL Survive!

M

Answer 3

That's a very odd reason to dump a sitter, I'm not sure it's the actual one..  Maybe someone else was showing too much interest....the dad?...and the wife decided it was best to keep you at a distance.  

If it were me, I wouldn't stay in the dark.  I'd ask them to talk to me...I'd be open about how much I missed them and ask; if they thought there was any way to work around the little girls strong attachment, how they see it as negative, and what you could do to lessen it.   (DON'T mention what I said about the dad.)  

You've nothing to lose, it will be resolved or you will know it's not going to happen.  If there's another reason that they don't want to mention, you will probably pick up on that.  Good luck.