How do I move on from losing the family I used to nanny for and was very close with?

Question

I just finished up my nannying job for a toddler. She was 1-&-a-half when I began nannying & 2-&-a-half when I finished. She became too attached to me & started wanting me more than her own parents, which is why my job ended. They decided as a couple to spend more time with her & get to know her better.

I miss her very much, as she had become almost like MY child. At least for right now (& I assume it'll probably always be the case), the parents don't want us seeing eachother because she may become confused about who her real mother is again. It's very hard for me to suddenly not have her in my life. I was very attached to her, & obviously vice-versa. I miss her more than anything & it kills me that I don't get to see her anymore (though I understand the rationality behind their decision).

I miss all three of them very much. Her parents had taken me in almost as family and I love them very much as well. I feel like I lost a whole second family. How do I move on from this loss?

Answer 1

People 'believe' too much. Like your first responder for example. His answer is pure superstition. We all grew up - seven sibblings of us - in a similar situation as you described. Our parents never got jealous and we never missed who our parents were. The only problem they could have with you would be if they thought you were not 'growing' the child the way they required so they felt they had to spend time to develope the mindset they would require in him/her. Or maybe simply that it would be their job to set the moral standards for the child. That would be understandable. But to say that the child is too close to you makes no sense. My sister's daughter has been closer to me than her mother since she was nine months old. Now she is going for five and it hasn't changed. However, she knows who her mother is and she has lost nothing. You need to move on. Nothing in life ever remains the same. The child will be ok and so will you.

Peace.

Answer 2

You became too personally involved in the job (and no doubt they saw it.)  They were your EMPLOYER, not family, and you still fail to see that realisticly.

You can be warm and caring without becoming the child's mother, but you embraced the position without regard to the feelings of the parents.  After all, it is their child, not yours.