How do I move on with my life after a terrible HS experience

Question

I will admit that I wasn't exactly a popular kid in high school. I wore some pretty ugly glasses because my parents couldn't afford contacts at that time. So I dealt with taunts and being made fun of for most of my elementary and HS days. I really didn't stay in contact with anyone I knew in high school save for a couple of people.

I keep having this strong desire to reconnect with people I knew from HS, to show them that I have changed significantly, that I have turned my life around and have become a somewhat different person. But it seems that many people really have let go of the people they knew in high school and gone on with their lives, graduated from college, and are married and have kids. I fit into none of these categories. I am not married and don't plan to be for a while, it isn't too important for me to be married at this point in my life.

it keeps on becoming clearer to me as days go by. I knew a kid pretty well since we were in 7th grade. I have been to his house several times, we hung around each other a lot until he graduated, went to school in Washington and got married. Now I only see him when he is in California visiting his parents. I used to call him on major holidays but he would never call me.

I guess what bothers me is when you know people for a while and they claim to be your friends or whatever, but when you graduate or they get married you are no longer in their lives. i guess I should be thankful that I have a couple of good friends but I felt like I should be in the lives of other people who claimed to be my "friends".

Answer 1

ALL OF US WERE MADE FUN OF AT SOMETIME IN OUR LIFE.

NO ONE IS PERFECT. IF THE FRIENDS YOU HAD THAT WERE CONSIDERED YOUR FRIEND NOW WONT TALK TO YOU, THEN WHAT KIND OF FRIEND WERE THEY IN THE FIRST PLACE? YOU WANT TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. MAYBE YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE FRIENDS NOW, NUT IF YOU DONT CONSIDER OPENING UP NEW DOORS TO MEET NEW FRIENDS. TRY JOINING A NEW GYM, AT WORK TALK TO PEOPLE YOUVE NEVER TALKED TO.

THEN WHEN YOU FINALLY ARE HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE AND FREIENDS , WORK ON LEAVING HIGH SCHOOL IN THE PAST AND MOVING ON WITH YOUR FUTURE.

Answer 2

i was made fun in high school too high school is not easy for anyone. People move on from high school they grow apart you growing up you have to know that now ones life is pefect but foget the fear of the past and live like right who cares what happen before it dosent mater its over and know one knows but you they dont know your past by looking at you so start over  

Answer 3

Hmm, I think there are a few things in your post I want to answer to.

First, the feeling that you want to reconnect to some people to show them  that you have changed.

When I read your post, you start by saying that "I will admit that I wasn't exactly a popular kid in high school. I wore some pretty ugly glasses because my parents couldn't afford contacts at that time"

To me, that sounds like you put the blame on yourself and how you looked. That's the message you've got. But, that's not how it works. You aren't to blame for being bullied. It's the cruelty of kids that is to blame. You did nothing wrong.

Now, you want to show them that 'you have changed', so that you are on their level now. Well, how does that feel? To me it only seems that you want to prove that you are okay now and that you really where the problem.

But you where okay by then as well. A pair of glasses, and maybe more in your appearance, says nothing about 'you being okay'.

I think that you will feel better about yourself if you cut yourself loose from how others want you to be. Don't try to convince them that you are okay, but learn to feel for yourself that you are okay! If you get more self confidence, and you see all the good things about you, then you will no longer feel the need to convince others how much you have changed.

Now the second thing I want to say.

You knew this kid pretty well, but the contact has faded away.

This happens. He has started a new life, and with that, his old life is just not so much in the picture. This has probably nothing to do with you.

The thing is, if you got bullied, or if you didn't have a lot of friends, you may feel stronger about this then he does. To you, it's a big disappointment. For him, it may be just moving on, without any judgment to you. That's how people go on with their lives sometimes.

With a past like you, you are damaged to a certain point. The lack of confidence that you have is to be expected for where you came from. The need to be seen and loved as well. Feeling lonely at school can leave big scars.

The only one who can heal the scars (or make them less painful) is you. Go on with your life, realize that the way they treated you was cruel and has got nothing to do with you.

Focus on the things you like about yourself, find your own strength, and go and find new people who you do like, and who like you for who you are. You don't need to prove yourself to others.

I know it's sounds easier said then done, I was there myself. It does take time. I got trough it, found great friends, and feel very good about myself.

Answer 4

pursue answers or let it go

Answer 5

First of all, be thankful for the friends you have who you are still able to talk to and have a relationship with. Second of all, people grow apart, that's just how it is. And, if you have a large amount of states or land between you, it makes it even easier to grow apart. I keep in touch with maybe one person I was friends with in high school (she was my best friend during) but even that is becoming strained. After people become married and have children, their interests and focus tend to change. That's just part of life. It's unfortunate and sad, but life.

As for you wanting to show all those high school people how you've changed, you can always do that at the 10 year reunion ;).

Oh, one more thing: get a myspace or facebook account. It makes it MUCH easier to stay in touch with people you know.

Answer 6

If you can see that you do not have to prove yourself to anyone that would be a help.

Try to focus on your future, not your past. Focus on your strengths, not what you perceive to be your weaknesses. Focus on positivity & not negativity.

Let these so-called friends go out of your life and thinking. I have someone special & only two other friends - and I am a lot older than you. We can't all be livewires or life & soul of the party.

With very best wishes for now & your future. UK