How do I overcome the seperation anxiety from my teenage daughter?

Question

She is spending a lot more time with her friends. I understand this but I still love her bunches. I'm deeply affected by the fact she wants to spend her time with them and not me.

Answer 1

Oh, I dread the day that you're experiencing right now.  My heart goes out to you!!!!!!

I'd say plan a weekly date with her.  That way y'all can touch base and reconnect each week!  And, yes, I know that's "not enough" but as you know, our purpose is to raise them so that they'll be ready for when it's time to 'let them go' out into the world.

You know what...I'd make plans for her friends to come to your house pretty often too...for sleep overs and such.  Take them all to a girls day water park adventure together, the movies or even to a 'ladies' brunch on Sunday's or something of the sort.  Be the mom they all wish they had...not to the detriment of remaining mom/authority figure but just to the extent that she sees you as a person, too.  As children get older it is important that your relationship grows with them and evolves into a mutually respectful, adult mother/daughter relationship.  You can start the beginning of that now, slowly and with the emphasis on the fact that you're still the parent.

And if you're still on here when my daughter reaches that point in her life, please remind me of what I've told you...I'm sure I'll need the support as well!!

Good luck to you...and enjoy this new frontier with your growing daughter! :)

Answer 2

remember; this is a naturally occurring event in a teenage girls life. it is not that she is choosing her friends over you, she is only trying to explore her newly developing social wants and capabilities.

perhaps try planning a day together once a week (or every other week if she's turning into quite the social butterfly) where you two can bond?

ex- going to the mall, getting nails done, or having a movie night in?

good luck! these times are trying-but if you are there for her when she needs you-she'll always know she can turn to her mom.  

Answer 3

It's natural for her to want to spend more time with her friends and than with her parents.  You probably don't know about half the stuff they talk about and there will be things you will never know (and never want to know either!).  To be honest, I'd be worried if she was spending more time with you than with her friends - it's a natural part of growing up.  You'll just have to get used to it.  She's branching out, making her own life - you still love her of course, and will do until the day you die, but she's becoming an adult with her own life.