How do I overcome very poor body image QUICKLY? Please help??

Question

I'm a 16 yr old girl. I'm 5"4, about 134lbs, 34D b***s, a 29" waist (I think :S) and 34" to about 36" ish hips. I'm Caucasian with very pale olive skin, green eyes, and straight dark-blonde hair, which is just about to jawlength. If I write all that down factually, it doesn't seem that bad to me, but if I see myself in a mirror, I don't see myself, I see a horrible monster version of me. I have a crappy body image. I know I'm not really beautiful or perfect or anything, but I know that I HAVE to be better looking than i THINK I am, because if I wasn't then people would scream and stuff if they saw me. I've seen myself as ugly since I was 9 and hit puberty way early (I got bullied for being 'fat' ie having b***s, and then when I gained loads of weight cos I was depressed, I got bullied for being fat anyway). I dieted obsessively for a couple of years, and I lost a few stone. I don't feel any better about the way I look though. I've been having therapy but it hasn't helped much at all.

Anyway, I really want to get over this as fast as I can, because I'm starting a new school in a few weeks, AND this guy I really like is begging me to go swimming with him. I stupidly told him I like swimming, and he says he wants to see me in a bikini so why don't I go with him? The truth is that I haven't swum since I was 8 because I was too self-conscious. I do love swimming though. I wanna swim again, I want to be able to wear nice (as in not baggy) clothes at school, and I want to be more confident about myself so I have to courage to see this boy. What can I do? I'm starving myself and excercising a lot atm to try and lose more weight, but I'm not sure it'll work so I need a backup plan :/ I'm really determined to fix this now!

Answer 1

Hey,

Don't worry so much. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, nobody is perfect, always remember that. Also most people are caught up with themselves and self-conscious about the way they look, they won't even notice whatever shortcomings you may think you have!

I think that everybody has body issues  to some extent, you're not alone. This boy who wants you to go swimming must think you're beautiful, he even said that he wants to see you in a bikini! You should try to come out of your shell and go for it! Take baby steps, try wearing a full-piece or a tankini and then a bikini.

From what you described you sound very pretty, just tell yourself this everyday. Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way. Most people see "the monster in the mirror" at some point, don't worry about it.

Feel better, be confident in yourself! Good luck :)

Answer 2

Has it never occurred to you to think that if you were thin and waif like this young man would not want you for company?

A lot of men don't like thinner people at all. No way. They want something they can "get hold of" and cuddle! ! !   Please think about this - he sees you as you are and wants to be with you. ENJOY! Stop fretting and don't spoil his image of you as you really are or you could lose him. Best wishes. UK

Answer 3

You've provided such a lot of information about your body image but I have not read any of it. You can change your body image by simply recognising the positives in your body and ignoring the negatives. Also, comparing is definitely not going to help you (or anyone).

This is a mind thing, not a body thing.

Change your mind. :-)