How do I politely explain this person sometimes I can't sign in earlier in the nigh to chat?

Question

I have an online friend who I got to know almost 3 years ago.

He got mad at me recently because I couldn't sign in sooner on msn messenger to chat, (he sometimes demands me to sign in before 9pm, and I can't sign in before 10 pm) so he texted me in a demanding way and appeared to be really mad at me for no reason.

I keep in touch with him once a week.

He said in a demanding way "you allways sign in so late at night" and keeps repeating that everytime I chat with him.

He gets annoying when he say that stupid thing but he seems a nice person to keep being online friends. Other times he is really boring when chatting to him.

He's older than me. I'm 28. He's 35.

How do I politely explain him sometimes I can't sign in earlier in the nigh to chat?

Do you think that it might be the reason his girlfriend dumped him?

Do you think he was rude to me?

Answer 1

I myself do not think that I would necessarily respond to his demands by supplying reasons why I can't chat earlier. Like who is he anyway? This is online and if you get something out of it - great - otherwise it is is dust in the wind, not someone that you have to supply reasons for your behaviour.

If you want someone online to run your responses and behaviours and emotions , go ahead. Myself, I absolutely would not.  

Answer 2

Just tell him, you cannot sign in any earlier than you currently sign in.  If he cannot accept that, too bad for him.  

Yes he is rude.

I'm sure there are many reasons his girlfriend dumped him.  

Answer 3

Wow. He's a little... possessive. Anyway, just tell him that you might have plans that keep you away from the computer.

He seems too possessive, as I said earlier, so it wouldn't surprise me that his girlfriend left him.

He was rude, all in all. You can have a life without his permission!

Answer 4

I think an online friendship is just that - online, which inherently means that for two people to chat, they both have to be available.  If you aren't able to sign on, simply state that nicely.  If you get a nasty response from your friend I believe that is unhealthy and not reasonable, and would advise you to consider the continuation of your friendship.

Answer 5

He sounds pretty lonely and desperate and his online life is about the only one he's got. I think you should ignore his demands and do what you have to do. If he doesnt like that, then he can go find someone else to chat to who is on earlier. Put yourself first. I would.

Answer 6

I wouldn't explain anything. He sounds like a jerk and I wouldn't be very happy about his behavior.

Way to out of control and he's just a friend.

Answer 7

If you were meeting him someplace in person and he was waiting an hour, that would be reason to be a little annoyed.  If it kept happening week after week he would have reason to be somewhat demanding.  For him to be upset or annoyed with you for not signing on until later in the evening...too bad for him.  It shows that you have a life other than sitting around waiting for a non-human form friend(?) to appear on the monitor in text.  I think it is quite pathetic actually.  Tell him you have a life outside the "box".  Yes, that is probably why his girlfriend dumped him.  

Answer 8

have you told him the true reasons of why you cannot log in any earlier than 10pm?? Maybe he'll understand..if not then tell him how you feel when he demands it on how you feel it isn't polite. Maybe you could set up a different time to chat online??

Answer 9

I don't think a stranger has the right to get upset with you about anything.  You don't even know this guy.  You don't owe him anything.  I think you should stop chatting with  him all together.  Especially if you think he's boring anyway!  Find somebody interesting to chat with!

Answer 10

I would politely tell him that you sign on as soon as you can.  If he has some pressing issue before that time he will have to email you or call you if it is an emergency.  It's IM'ing, after all.  It's not 911.