How do I politely tell my sister no more exchanging xmas gifts with her kids and mine?

Question

wow such nosey people. We stopped with my sister inlaws kids and now I feel it's only right to do the same with my sister's kids because It isn't fair to give to niece's and nephews on one side of the family.

Answer 1

Why would you want to do that? Money? You don't want to get anything for your nieces and nephews? Hmm...

We quit exchanging birthday gifts with our niece and nephew and our kids, but we always have something for them to open on Christmas when we get together. Some years it's smaller than others, but the kids are always happy and my kids have fun picking things out for their little cousins.

I think even if it's something small, at least the kids know they got something from Uncle Charley and Aunt Maggie and the cousins.

However, if you want to insist that you're so broke that Christmas is no longer the season of giving, you COULD bring it up to your sister like this:

"I was kind of thinking about Christmas the other day. What do you think about all the gift exchanging?"

And open it up that way.

The other thing you could do is take the focus off gifts and take all the kids out somewhere fun on a day in early January or during Christmas vacation and have that be their Christmas gift between the aunts and uncles.

I keep hoping to afford passes to our local amusement park and this big steamboat that goes on the lake to have a summer day out with our niece and nephew and my husband's brother and his wife -- especially if we can do it without my other sister in law and the grandparents horning in.

Answer 2

i would just say that christmas for the past few years has gotten to be really stressful and you don't want to feel that way for the holiday's so you've decided not to exchange gifts this year.

Answer 3

well first, how come? just because? money? you dont like her kids? whats the reason?

Answer 4

ya gotta to know why before any real answer can be given

Answer 5

Tell your sister that being together for Christmas is all the gifts you and your children want or need.

Maybe the families can exchange something you made like a cake or cookies.

Answer 6

My sister and I did this years ago. Man that takes the stress off the holiday's We both agreed that it just leaves us with a bunch of stuff. Instead, we bring food and have a great meal together.

Answer 7

How to have this conversation would depend on the reasons, on the one hand, and on your relationship with your sister, on the other. If you have a good relationship and you are simply concerned about the expense of buying gifts, just talk to her like you would to a friend and suggest you skip the gift exchange because of the tough financial situation - she should understand. But if your relationship leaves to be desired and the reason why you don't want to exchange gifts is because you're angry at her for something - this is a totally different story and will need to be handled differently. Again, it depends on the nature of the disagreement and the history of your relationship up to this point.

Answer 8

Well, we need to know the reason why first...

Answer 9

How about suggesting that everyone has too much stuff, and how about exchanging one small "family" present. Maybe even something homemade, like cookies.

Answer 10

Put the blame on yourself...just tell her that you cannot handle the extra stress and expense of doing this anymore, and would she consider going back to the old fashioned traditional way of spending Christmas together and just appreciating that time and fellowship together instead.  Or I like the idea of the family gift.  

My brother and SIL have 9 children together, so we couldn't even do a drawing because there wasn't enough children for his to exchange with without having his children getting their own names.  Anyhow, he decided to cut those gifts out.  The kids still all get something from the Grandparents and I usually do a little goodie bag for each of the kids with an Christmas Ornament with their name/year on the back so that they will each have their own collection when they become a young adult and get their own place.  There are other creative things you can consider like that.

Answer 11

Ok, what did your sister do to you? Besides, it's only September. Maybe you will calm down when December gets here. If you put a dress on a pig, it is still just a pig.