How do I put myself up for adoption?

Question

I'm KayDee, im almost 15 and my life is in a really deep hole at the moment. My dad isn't abusive, but he might as well be. He yells at me for anything he can find. Like tonight, he yelled at me because I went to the bathroom while i was cooking dinner, nothing burnt, but he yelled at me anyways. then i asked him how much of potato mix stuff he wanted me to use then he got mad and he said, nvm i do it. except he was screaming. he wants me to show him my reoprt card but i dont want to because i'm really scared that something really bad will happen because my grades are REALLY bad, and i have a feeling i'll.... im not sure, at this point he could do anything. but I would like to live somewhere else, where im not screamed at and i dont have to put up with my dad. When I'm 18 im applying for the military so i just need some where to be until then. How do i put myself up for adoption?

Answer 1

Where's is your mum? Could you go and live with her? And tell your teacher at school and that might help.

Answer 2

that is verble abuse, tell someone a councler, teacher someone before it becomes more than that

Answer 3

Get over it. YOu sound like a total brat.

Answer 4

I don't think you can but just try to put up with his c**p for a bit longer. I know it's hard, been there done that. But just be as polite back to him and he may eventually stop his nonsense. Good luck.  :)

Answer 5

I don't think you can do that.  

All I can recommend is pray for him every day.  Also, "love like you've never been hurt".  You will be amazed how this can change his perception.

Answer 6

We need to know where we stand.  You father IS abusive.  Why, for heaven's sake are you cooking dinner?  There is help available but it will take a good deal of courage on your part.  Talk with a trusted adult.  Perhaps a school counselor, a minister, priest, or some such.  What I'd recommend is a temporary home for you while you and your father learn a few lessons in how children should behave and how parents should nurture, love, and help them to grow.  Please call the state department of children and family services.  they will help you.

  We volunteer at an institution that would be of great benefit to you.

Answer 7

Some have suggested that you're just a regular teenager who "hates her parents."  Well, no one here really knows if you are or if you aren't.  No one here knows what's really going on.  So, I think you are in the wrong place to get a truly good perspective and the proper guidance.  Discuss this with a trusted adult such as a teacher, school counselor, pastor or someone else who can not only listen but help you take whatever steps may be necessary in rectifying this situation.  

My father was a rather abusive man.  The idea that I could have just approached him and asked "why" is absolutely laughable, because he'd have screamed and whacked me for doing something like that.  It would have only made matters worse.  You need to talk about this in a safe environment.  If you do end up talking with your father about these matters, it will need to be with a third party, such as a counselor, pastor, social worker or teacher.  

Please get off of Y!A for this and go talk to someone who can help you.

Answer 8

well you need to talk to someoneifitis that bad but your talking miltary there is alot yelling there too inbaic training any i wish you luck

Answer 9

It sucks your dad yells at you but honestly your situation just sounds like a typical teen who 'hates' their family & wishes they got to live elsewhere.  Unfortunately, we can't just change families whenever we feel like it.  I always felt my mom would find any reason to yell at me all my life & nothing was ever good enough...parents make mistakes.

I hope that you could express to your dad that his yelling is causing a lot of grief in your life.  Talk to a school counselor like others have suggested or somebody that you could just vent to.  Are you not able to stay with your mom?  If he puts his hands on you then you should get help right away.  I know emotional abuse can have more of a lasting effect in the end so I suggest to confide in an adult you can trust.

If you want to be emmancipated be prepared to do the following: pay your own rent, health/medical bills - dental/optomitrist/health insurance, clothes, food, graduate school, find transportation...prove that you're mature enough to make it on your own.

Answer 10

KayDee tell your Dad to stop screaming at you because it scares you.  Show him your report card and take your lumps.  It is your fault your grades are bad.  Face the consequences and do better next time.  You don't need another place to live, you need to talk to your Dad and explain how you are feeling.  Ask him why he is always so angry with you.  You might be surprised to learn that he has his own problems to deal with and dealing with you after a full day at work could be too much for him.  Maybe he needs your help!

Good luck.

Answer 11

well if my kid had REALLY bad grades i wouldnt be so nice either. when you grow older you will see that he does it for your own good. i used to be like you, i was depressed all teh time thinking my parents were bad ppl but they did it because tehy cared. anyway, i know that in california you can actually get divorced from your parents, i forgot how its called. but about the military, i support you on that. i also joined the military and it was teh best experience ever!! you will meet and love so many ppl. tehy willbe a grea family even though they are not really your family. the ppl you will meet there will be the closest ppl you will ever have!! trust me, training is hard but what comes after is great, you'll love the oney and lifestyle too. your dad will be proud of you and while you are in trainign you will have a lo of time to think about your life and your dad. tahst how i realized that what my parents where doing was because they cared and loved me. we never blame ourselves when we are kids, we always think we have doen nothing wrong. of course he yelled at you for leaving teh kitchen, you need to be safe, he did it because he cared abtou you and so you will know not to take taht risk again

p.s like teh person above me said... if you cant take your dad yelling at you i dont know why you wnat to join the military... its a lot worst there. and you will always have soemone either yelling or telling you what to do.. ts life... but at least tehy pay you for it lol

Answer 12

Depending on how bad it really is, you could call Social Services.  If they decide you really are in an unsafe situation, they will put you in foster care.  I would suggest talking to your dad first, and telling him that you feel scared with him to the point of calling social services.  If you don't feel you can talk to him alone, get a school counselor or a neighbor, or someone you trust to be with you when you talk to him.

Answer 13

Unfortunately you can't be put up for adoption by yourself. It has to be agreed by your legal guardian (your dad).

Where's your mum? Does she know about this? Could you live with her?

Try talking to a teacher you trust or the social services. These people can sort it out for you and keep you safe. If they see you as being at risk you may be removed from your dads care.

BTW, if you are in England you can join the military at 16. I'm not sure on the laws in US

Answer 14

OK, assuming you're being honest in how bad it is, here's what I'd suggest, pick one:

- I worked at a domesetic violence shelter and worked closely with guidance counselors in the schools, they are always on the lookout for things like this.  You need to approach one of them and outline what's going on.  They will have immediate contacts at their disposal and will immediately go to bat for you - they have to... once you confide that you're being abused they have to get involved.  I'm not saying that you'll get what you want and be taken away, but you'll at least have that intervention in your life and you won't be the one worrying about what to do and to who to go to.

And yes, you can become an emancipated minor in the US at 15.

Answer 15

I feel your pain... I haven't had the exact same problems as you, but let's just say I;ve been there. With family problems and such.

Even if you could put yourself up for adoption, do you really want your family relationships to be completely broken? Are you sure you can't work this out? You should probably see a counselor, or you and your dad could see a counselor together and try to work out your issues.

In most jurisdicitons, you can move out and withdraw from parental control at the age of 16. But it's really hard to manage at that age - I'd really only recommend it as a last resort.

I truly hope you can work this out without taking any extreme measures. Stay strong!

Best of luck.

Answer 16

I was adopted and still got screamed at, adopted people get screamed at too, not always but obviously sometimes.

I don't think social services would help you, but maybe a trustworthy adult in your life could help you talk to your dad about the yelling.  That sucks when you don't feel safe in your own home.  I just moved out when I was 15 and rented a room and didn't have to deal with it anymore.

That was really smart of me.

But I was a pretty mature 15 y.o.   I hope you can get someone to help you, but I have no idea why you think being adopted would help, you could be adopted by someone like the man that adopted me.

Answer 17

In some countries you can actually divorce your parents, This is true in England..