How do I quit being jealous of what they had. And focus on what we have

Question

I'm always worried about my girlfriend and her ex's relationship. EX: was it better than ours, did you love him more. And she says our relationship is the best she has ever had. So how do I get him out of my mind

Answer 1

Any time I try to compare myself with others I set myself up for misery.

If you start feeling you need to compare or compete with this guy start claiming it in a statement. "I am feeling competitive with your ex right now and am trying to resolve that for myself"  If you make the statement to your girl tell her not to respond with reassurances, just to listen.  It would be unfair to ask your girlfriend to fix your worry.  If you keep realizing it is your desire to compare or compete and do not put the responsibility of feeling better on your girl you will work through it.  Wishing you serenity.

Answer 2

i understand the problem.

But you are living in your Ex's past - not even your own past.

Of the 3 people, you are the only one still in that relationship!

It wastes your brain, your energy, your enthusiasm, and i think it badly impacts your happiness.

The best i can advise is that everytime this or similar ideas come to your mind, that you tell yourself " i am living in the now. I do not choose to live in someone else's past."

you may find a better affirmation than that.

Answer 3

Remember he's the past & your the present & have a chance of being her future!, don't waste time thinking about her past we all have had a history like you probably had other girlfriends, get on with life in the here & now & creature happy times/memories for the both of you together you can't change what might/could happen.