How do I quit being so scared to talk to people or a group?

Question

Well Im in college right now and Im in an atmosphere were the school is a very sociable.The classes are huge filled with students.Everyone seems to have so much confidence in talking.But everytime when i talk it feels as though they know that Im nervous.I just have that look on my face,I guess?I mean the last presentation I presented i had to do a speech I did it.I was soo nervous at the end of the speech some people came up to me and said I looked so confident.I looked WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS? Its just so hard for me.I dont know.What should i do?

Answer 1

i am exactly the same a you, 20 and at uni, i have the same problem. what i try to do is work on my body language and stuff, because that is the way people can tell whether you are nervous.

if im concentrating on keeping my body language looking confident then it takes my mind off my nervousness and people cant tell you are nervous. i also remind myself that there are people who feel the same way.

also, people have other things to think about than what is going on in other people's heads. when was the last time you noticed someone was nervous?

Answer 2

I used to be like that. What I did is I began to think, If I dont act confident Im going to look stupid. If I get nervous, I will mess up even more. Everyone is a person just like me, and they all had to learn to do this. So I just act very confident even if Im unsure of myself, my attitude is what sells the product. I used to not even turn in assignments just to get out of a public speach. Now it doesnt bother me, I can even talk infront of large groups about anything that comes up. The key is not to get nervous, they are all people just like you, half of them arent even paying attention, and most of them were even more scared that I am to go up, but the acted like they have confidence. Just try that. Its worth it! Good luck and your great!

Answer 3

The truth of the matter is that most of the time they do NOT know you're nervous.  Key: Act as you think you would if you are not nervous.  Years ago I was a pastor and gave sermons many times when I was nervous.  My wife (at the time) would tell me over and over again, that looking at me, people couldn't tell I was nervous. It's really true.

You seem to have the most difficulty with speeches, right?  Maybe also large gatherings.

First, on speeches.  It's you giving it.  If you will practice a lot, that is your speech, ahead of time, you will have a lot more confidence.  Because you will know that you know your stuff.  Practice in a setting as close to the setting where you will give the speech as you can.  Also, you can practice alone, but it is good to have a friend listen to you and comment on how you did.

Second, the more you speak before others, the easier it gets. Just like learning and doing anything.  Personal anecdote: My first speech ever was in high school at the school Christian club.  I was so scared my knees were shaking. BUT they liked my talk so much that they made me devotional chairman (that is chairman of the talks)! Since then I have spoken in front of crowds at times in the hundreds of people and have been commended many times for my content and speaking ability.  Me the once shy and backward teen.

Third, when you speak you are seeking to communicate effectively something you think is important to your audience to hear.  Focus on that.  Communicating effectively. GET CONCERNED about the people you are talking to.  Talk like a fellow human.  Forget thinking about how nervous you are.  That's pretty-much irrelevant, anyway (I know, it doesn't FEEL irrelevant!).  Forget what they think about you.  Speak from your heart.  Think this: I've got such important things to tell them.

And you will. And, someday you will find speaking very satisfying, even fun!

Answer 4

Hi. What you're feeling is completely normal. I think that only a small percentage of people can say they aren't nervous giving presentations or going to big gatherings. You actually have an advantage here because others aren't even able to put themselves into these types of social situations. Even though you are so nervous and uncomfortable you do it anyways, that shows that you are confident. I am pretty sure that the uncomfortable feeling will always be there, no matter your age. It sucks, I know! But, keep at it and through time you'll gain more experience and skills to cope with different social situations.    

Answer 5

first thing to take on board is

TRY NOT TOO CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK!!

You said that people didnt notice you were nervous when you had to do

your presentation but unfortunately you cant see your self to kno how you looked, you need to find someone to video tape you. then you'll have abetter idea how others perceive you. Bare in mind we all suffer with nerves at times, i usually internally talk to myself, most people think i'm odd at the best of times so i just think of them being lower then me , not as bright & definately not as confident ( little do they kno!!)

Answer 6

Try to enrich your confidence level. The reason why you are so afraid to socialize and talk to other people is because you worry too much --- probably worrying on what impression will they have on you, etc. There are actually self help books out there that may help you with this dilemma -- How to Become an Effective Public Speaker and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Both award winning and best selling books are by Dale Carnegie.

Also, seek support from friends. Try to single out one from your group and practice with this person your social and communication skills.