How do I recover from a parent coming home from jail?

Question

My dad just moved in (long story) . Now, he's married to my mom and he's a total hard a**. He's so rude sometimes and excepts me to be completely meek and obedient and he's always nosy and takes things seriously ALL the time. He also always mentions fighting with me and my mother and he also plays with knives. He is both offensive and defensive and doesn't know how to treat kids, especially my little brothers. What do I do? He's nice sometimes, but is SO defensive and it gets on my nerves!!!! What do I do? I mean, sometimes, he can be nice, but even then he's still hard and cold. What do I do? I've got two years until college... He's been in jail since before I was born, I'm 16 now.

Answer 1

I think you should give him some time, leave him alone for now.

Answer 2

grow up, girl.  

Think about where he has been.  He is probably scared to death that you will make the same mistakes he did.  Not only that, he is an instant father now.  That is a lot to deal with at once.

Make a list of SPECIFIC things that REALLY bothers you and why it bothers you.  Have him do the same.  See if there is way to work on those issues first.  You might find that some things make sense when you know where the person is coming from.

Answer 3

That's a long time to be incarcerated.  Adjustment to the outside world would be difficult in this situation. He may be insecure and unsure of what is expected. And from your perspective, your whole family structure and system have just been altered. I think some counseling to help everyone communicate, especially between your dad and you kids, could be very helpful.  Does he meet with a parole officer?  Can s/he recommend a program or counselor?  This is difficult, but you have a chance to be a family. This is a great incentive for him to be rehabilitated.  It may take a lot of work, but it's worth giving it your best shot.  Good luck.  

Answer 4

He's just getting back into the real world. You need to be patient with him.