How do I resolve a conflict with my co-teacher?

Question

I have been an assistant teacher for three years. Last year I was an assistant to an awesome teacher. We became close friends. This year we are co-teaching a larger class. We are not splitting the class into two due to budget reasons. I am no longer her assistant. I am a lead teacher. We share a paraprofessional. Today I went in for my first day of pre-planning. ALL day she kept talking to people and referring to our class as "my" (meaning her) class and "my" stuff. I have worked so hard at college and work to get my own class and I was so excited. I am finally fullfilling my dream. However, she is making me feel horrible by excluding me and not saying, "our" class or "our" supplies. Open House is Friday and I want to get this cleared up before then. I don't want the parents to look at me as an assistant. I feel I need to be respected as her equal. I just don't know how to address the issue. Please help!

Answer 1

wheneveryou talk say our class and lead by example and if she doesnt take the hint then explain what you just said here that you worked hard and are her equal and you want the parents and students to see that

Answer 2

I worked with a co-teacher for a year and loved it.  At first, I wasn't so excited about it, but then I realized what a blessing this was- that we could share the work load.  When one was down, the other would take over.  It worked out great. My advice:  Take the teacher to lunch and let her know that you're excited to be co-teaching with her and you know what an exhausting job teaching can be. Let her know that you think it will be an ideal situation because you can share the load together.  Most teachers will welcome/embrace this concept once they get over their "pride" of being a lone-ranger...lol. If that doesn't work, wait it out.  She WILL run out of steam at some point in the year and look to you for help, trust me.  Don't worry what she says to colleagues.  They know you had a great relationship with the other teacher and they know it's often about ego...Good luck!

Answer 3

You need to tell her nicely exactly how you are feeling.  Tell her you are very excited about sharing the responsibilities with her this year.  Make sure you use the word "OUR" in discussions.  Find some online articles about co-teaching and share them with her.  Find a profesisonal development workshop for the two of you to attend.  Make sure you let her know that you are no longer an assistant.  If she tries to "force" ideas on you, tell her that you would like to sit down and discuss your ideas as well.  It is very important for co-teachers to work well together, or the students can catch a bad vibe.  If this isn't cleared up by parent night, bring in an administrator to explain to her what co-teaching invovles.  Good Luck!

Answer 4

It may just be a habit with her - she may not even realize how her pronoun usage makes her sound.

Catch her at a time when it is just the two of you - ask her for that, if you have to. Explain to her how much it means to you to finally be able to share a class with her, especially since you not only think of her as a friend, but you also look up to her. Tell her that it hurts your feelings when she describes it as "her" class, and you are afraid that it will undermine your authority with both the students and the parents.

Don't act like you think that she is aware of doing that, even if you suspect that she might be doing that on purpose. I am willing to bet that, more than anything else, it is just a habit that she isn't even aware of.  

Try to give her credit as both a friend and as a professional. Remind her with a friendly smile if you have too.

If that doesn't work, then I suggest you kick her @ss. (just kidding about that last part - probably - LOL)

Answer 5

Why don't you approach her in a subtle fashion, either before or after class when there are no students around and explain to her that during the meeting, you felt left out of the conversation in the way she kept referring to everything as 'her...' or 'my...'.  

It is possible that she may not have even realized that she was doing this and tell her that in the future, you would appreciate it if she would include you in her references.  

Either that or else you might chalk it up to a huge oversight on her part. this time and say nothing until the next time it happens and then bring it up, then.

Good Luck.