How do I resolve this between my fiance and my family?

Question

To make a long story short my family and my fiance haven't gotten along since the beginning, me and my fiance and both young and she got pregnant before we got a chance to know each other. We are finally working things out but now the next conflict is my family. I get along great with hers. The latest situation is my family wants to take family pics of "the generations" but they don't want to include boyfriends or girlfriends only wives or husbands. When my mom told me about this i knew it would be a problem because they wanted only me and my son and step son in the pic, I didn't feel right about the idea, not that were just excluding only my girl but anyone that has kids together but isn't married, my mom also wants a separate pic of me, my fiance and kids, and my sister and her boyfriend and my niece, I don't have a problem with that its just the main pic, I feel like why can't everyone who has a family be in the pic? Am I wrong or what is their point of view? This is stressing me out and I don't want to forget about my family but I do have my own family now, My uncle who lives out of state and has an open mind says he would just take the pics, not put my emotions in it and try to look at it as a way to start over with all the tension, I don't agree with the pic though, am I over reacting? Or should I just take this picture? I know it will cause more problems with me and my fiance, and I told her I wasn't going to take it, but what would you do?

Answer 1

who's paying for the pictures?  there is nothing wrong with getting pictures of "just immediate family" and then pictures of the kids with the parents.  if you mom wants "family only pics" then you and your fiancee go get married, problem solved.  no joke make those kids legitimate.  your getting married anyway

Answer 2

maybe take ur own camera and after ur mum if finished taking her pics then ask ur family if it would be ok if they stayed where they were just for two more minutes while u take some with ur girlfriend and other peoples partners that missed out

im sure ur family wont mind

an if ur mum does then she doesnt hav to be in the pic

Answer 3

We are human!  Parents have children.  Children grow up, get married, and they have own children.  Their children grow up, get married, and have their own children..

Everyone has his or her own life to live.  I love my parents with all my heart, but I have my life to live.  And the cycle continues on.......

Answer 4

Who is paying for the pictures? If it is your mother then she can request to have the pictures taken anyway she wants. What is up to you is if you want to be in the pictures.

If she really only wants it to be blood line/generational then how does your step-son fit into that? (Not trying to be rude or anything)

I can understand her not wanting to have couples who are not married in the pictures, as even married couples do not always remain the same for family pictures from year to year. (Work as a photographer so I know).

At least she is willing to get a family picture of you, your fiance and your children. That is a nice gesture that shows she is not just alianating your fiance.  

Answer 5

Since she wants your step son but not his mother your mother is being rude, mean and ignorant. I would not take it. Stuck in the middle you say. I would be telling your mother and your family that this is your family and they can accept it or they can live without all of you. You should not be choosing.  

Answer 6

A fiance is a guy.  A fiancee is a girl.

Are you sure it's your fiance who got pregnant???

Answer 7

I had the same situation before I married my hubby. My sister would not acknowledge him at family functions and I ended up leaving him at home and only visiting with my family for a little while. I was miserable!  Here's what happened, I decided I was going to be with this man no matter what, they could respect my decision and be part of my life or alienate us. Once I decided to stand by my hunnie I felt better and after a while my family came around. About 8 months to a year after we were married I realized not only was my sister talking to my husband, she was joking with him!  They're fine now, it wasn't easy but it started by me deciding not to allow anyone disrespect my family!

Answer 8

You didn't make a long story short, you made a long story longer.  thanks for the points though.