How do I respond to my abusive fathers email?

Question

Well my dad is very, very abusive (mentally, physically, and sexually). I have drivers ed coming up and he told my mom that he wouldn't help pay for it unless I asked him myself(which he would then turn into "let's try to make this relationship work" in his mind). My mom can't really afford it on her own. So I sent him the following email:

So I hear you wanted me to ask you for money towards drivers ed. I don't need your money and will figure it out one way or another. Do whatever you want. If you decide to be a decent person and help mom out, then go ahead. Just don't expect anything from me.

And he responded with:

You ask for money while talking to me like I'm dirt? Don't ever get into sales, you'd be awful at it.

Should I respond, and how so?

Answer 1

Wow, that's rude what your father said to you. You tell him exactly how you feel as if it was for his eyes only. You talk to him like you don't need him and you guys are fine on your own, if that's what you want. I'd suggest you get a job to help you and your Mom out.  

Answer 2

lol

sorry.  that was just a funny remark ur dad said...

you should just ignore him

save up or get a job or something...you dont need him

Answer 3

I agree with Lisa G.....thats just wrong..

never take that c**p from anyone....no matter who they are!

Answer 4

Dont hes not worth it. You can buy drivers ed online for half the cost of drivers ed. Its DMV approved and your mom can teach you on her own time and give you the test. All you have to do is do some quizzes online and go to the DMV  and take a test there for your permit and license.  

Answer 5

You know what, he was RIGHT!  You talked to him like he was scum on the ground (which, he very well might be, but if that was a way to get money, you blew it).  You can't attack someone like that and expect them to reply with 'Thank you, honey, I miss you, too.'

I saw your first question about this situation and I responded to it, too.  Once again I stand firm that your mother is just as disgusting as he is.  Having her child fight her battles for her is just as bad as him mistreating you.  They are using you in their game of War and you're jumping in headfirst.  If you don't care about the money, then DROP IT.  No more emails.  No more discussing it.  You brought it up and this was their response.  Your mother: 'I can't afford so you ask him for it'.  Your dad: 'Pound sand'.  Feel better now?  I don't think so.  Do you want to feel better?  Then start to open your eyes to the fact that the two people in this world who you should be able to turn to are the two people in this world who you will not be able to rely on.  They are too busy in their War, remember?

Answer 6

If he is really all the things you say just do not respond at all. You don't have to have contact with him in any way and every time you respond to him it just feeds into his game, don't play it and stay away from him.

Answer 7

as you are so angry and intend to stay that way

list all of the things that he has done to you and e-,mail that to him

Answer 8

Your mom needs to call the cops on him for being abusive. Any sexual or physical violence warrants you pressing charges.

Let him sit in jail....then when he writes you...

respond with "You treated me like dirt for years and now you want something from me...my how the roles have changed!"

Then never write back.

Best wishes

Answer 9

Don't turn it into a battle between you and him.

You're better off just moving on from him.  If he is the type of person that is mentally, physically, and sexually abusive, then he has serious issues that he needs psychiatric help for.  You don't need him in your life unless he gets serious help and makes serious changes.

I wouldn't fight with him.  That won't solve anything.  I would probably just not respond at all.

Either that, or I would say "I hope you get help, someday.  I'm moving forward with my life in a positive direction.  I refuse to fight with you."  or something like that.

Answer 10

Don't even respond. it will only feed the fire. He is just looking for a reaction from you. Oh and if he has ever touched you. GO TO THE COPS!!!

Answer 11

tell him that he Obviously is too blind to read, and that You didnt ask him for the money

your mom needs a good lawyer, they can get the money from him!

Answer 12

I think you should leave it alone he knows how you feel if you really don't want anything to do with him it sound like he wlll not change

Answer 13

don't even respond to that, he sounds like a horrible father. he needs to seek therapy and he needs to pray to a god. just get a part time gig somewhere, (restaurant, mall, library) and you can save up for drivers school.

Answer 14

What a r****d. You didnt ask him for money, Just tell him to stay out of your life. You dont need him.

Answer 15

I would not respond. he is very abusive like you said and he deserves ZERO of your time and effort.  

Answer 16

send all emails back to him with no comment, or ask him who here is the adult and who is the child,  as no guessing which one he is behaving like,