How do I respond to people who comment on how close my 2 kids are?

Question

I have 2 children who are 16 months apart. My youngest is 6 1/2 months old, my oldest is 22 months. My youngest is a big baby and my oldest is petite so they look even closer in age than they already are. I get some pretty blunt comments from people and I even get "you're done....right?" Do i really have to explain to each person that comments that I love my children the same but my youngest I was on birth control? I have a hard time standing up for myself so ignoring people or saying something rude is out of the question, I can't do, it'll make me too uncomfortable. Any advice on what to say to people who dont mind their own business?

Answer 1

Tell them to mind their own business.

Answer 2

i would just ignore it, thats the best thing to do

Answer 3

Well i grew up in a family of well lets just say more than 7...8...9 yeah a lot! so i got questions like these all the time; are your parents done? A lot of us are only 18 months or even 16 months apart also, so i totally understand. I would just continue saying "i love both of my kids equally," you don't need to explain the whole birth-control thing because why would they care i mean they shouldn't its none of their bussiness you have 2 kids now and theirs no changing it. I would just say "I don't know, maybe" and just leave it at that. change the subject quickly but please dont change it to the weather thats just not a topic to discuss after this. Hopefully this helps! :)

Answer 4

I feel for you ... I never was able to give any good comebacks, but here is a little story for you:  I had my son Oct. of '91 and his cousin was born 5+mos earlier, April of '91.  Well my husband and i took custody of my nephew and the boys looked so close in age like twins, so people asked me all the time if they were.  When I would say no... they got a puzzled look, and would ask how far apart they were ... then when I would say 5+ months and offer no further explanation, they would just drop their jaw to the floor.  I got to where I just laughed it off.  Think of it this way-if the person has limited social skills, they might not be able to politely ask what they are curious about.  They also might not have any knowledge of little kids or how to be engaging instead of imposing.  You can always try to turn questions back to people with questions instead of answers, but it seems like a waste of time to me.  The best defense to people who are rude or too blunt is to be confident and cheerful despite their efforts to bring you down.    Be proud of your babies and hold your head up.   More often than not, people mean well.  Keep your chin up and enjoy your little ones, don't let the turkeys get you down!    :)

Answer 5

tell them you will have as many as God sees fit

Answer 6

People can be so rude. When I told my mom I was pregnant with our second child (two weeks ago) she made several really insulting comments about me being unable to handle a 2 yr old (that's how old my son will be when the baby is born) and a newborn. She wasn't the only one either!! To be honest, there are only a handful of people who are even happy for us, most are just worried and we are successful college educated adults not teenagers for goodness sake!! So, I have decided that I love my kids and I will give just these rude questions and comments what they deserve: straight-forward and rude answers.

Answer 7

tell them how far apart they are, so it's not a mistake, & if they ask "Are you done yet?" say "that is between  my husband (or if you have your byfriend,etc)and i, not anyone elses"they can tkae it or leave it. You donot have to explain how each one got here.

I have 3 children and expecting baby #4 & this IS the last for me  for health reasons. I started having children with my first husband,we have a daughter who will be 9 this month. After we got married I was pregnant within 3 weeks(talk about a short honeymoon!) then 6 months later a divorce.(end of story) Well a month later I met my now husband after my divorce & we got together  3months down the line when my dd was 3 weeks old.We got married 4 months later,needless to say I got pregnant again with my 2nd child 4months into the marriage so my oldest children are 17months apart, & my son will be 8 this dec! needless to say they are the best of friends & elave my 3 1/2 yr old out,lol.  My youngest will be 4 on july 1rst &  I'm due with our last boy  on 7/11  if he lasts the whole 4 weeks!

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point is this, unless you have a medical issue like I do,  the onyl people in your life should be concerned how many babies you make are 2 possibly 3. you & the babies father,  & your OBdoctor.  

Even your inlaws & parents donot need to make that choice for you unless you're underage. Just kindly smile to people who speak rudly & ignore them.

Answer 8

when i get comments like that...well i dont have kids..but rude/smart comments like that, i just give them a smart answer back.

like i just started a new job and it was my first week and i handed some stuff to this lady and i was like well im off to go to another department now (i work in retail) and she was like "oh u work here? i thought u were a customer" and i was like "um no i work here" which that kinda was rude kinda not so i just blew it off. so i was walking off and she told the customer "shes not going to last longer than a week" and that really upset me. its like u have no faith in me. u dont know me. and ur being so negative. so i said "u know what? im coming back next week."

so when someone says something rude like they have been to you i would say something like "nope i love my kids to death and im planning to have three more in the next two years" or something like that. you dont have to be rude to them. just give them something smart back. most of the time they end up speechless.

Answer 9

Just say you are not sure.  I don't like being rude to people either.  But the comments I get are much worse than that now.  My first 2 were 13 months apart.   Most people thought we were done.  Then we had our son 19 months after the 2nd and people were a little forgiving.  "Oh you've got your boy, now you must be done"  Now after having 4, we have passed the freak mark lol.  Now when people say something like that, I usually look at my husband and say " I didn't say anything about being done, did I"  That usually shuts them up.

Answer 10

Tell them to f off and mind their business, you don't have to explain anything to anyone.

Answer 11

Try this for a start.

"I am terribly sorry but I did not know where you were so I could have  come to get your instructions and advice".

Answer 12

you knows to strangers i would just say who are you to express your opinion to me .

Answer 13

Just say..."Do I know you ?" Or...........

You can ignore and should ignore rude people.

Answer 14

You can...

Ignore them.

Roll your eyes.

Tell them you have 6 more at home.

Change the subject.

Ask them how many they have.  How many their parents had.

People are just stupid.  Try not to let their ignorance ruin your day.  My brother and I are 15 months apart and it was no big deal growing up.

Answer 15

I am 23 and i have two kids who are 19 months apart.  I get the same attention and i just hold my head up high and tell them that they are 19 months apart and i love every minute of it and NO im not done, I want another one!  If they dont like it then who cares!  If people wanna be rude to you walk off!

Answer 16

i have an 11 month old, 22 month old and a 5 and 6 year old..people like to make comments..but i really don't think they mean to be rude..when I get comments about how close in age my children are or the fact that i have so many for my age. i just tell them something smart...like "I'm trying to have enough to start my own football team" or "I'm going for 10"..it throws people off...:-) its funny seeing their reaction...

Answer 17

If they say "Are you done" say oh no my husband and I want a houseful of kids... we LOVE children.  You could also say well, I want my kids to be close in age so that they will grow up as close siblings.  OR aren't they just adorable. Don't explain anything to anyone...just show how much you love them.  I think some people are just in awe of mothers of children who are close in age.  It seems so heroic.  So be the hero and don't let anything get in the way of that idea.

Answer 18

uhh.

well if it really bothers you that much, stand up for your self..

you dont have to take that c**p..

say excuse me, but it is my business, and your snide comments are unwelcome.

and leave it at that..

chances are they will get what you are saying..

good luck!

and congrats on the kids!

Answer 19

Well, people who tell you that are really rude and shouldn't say those things but people do so learn to live and forget about them

Answer 20

Well, I would just ignore them personally, but if that is too hard, I would probably say something like " Why would I be done, just look how beautiful they are I think I will have 13 more just like them "

Answer 21

my girls are the same age gap apart as yours and i used to get that all time, also the fact that i was a teenager didnt help. I would just tell people to mind their own business.