How do I say no without upsetting anyone?

Question

I have a problem with saying no. If someone asks me for a favour I always say yes and then moan that I don't want to do it. Why can't I just say no?

Answer 1

You are not the only one with this problem. There are some of us who do the same.  I think we are just so nice and we want to help people and try and make people happy.  However,  we are not responsible for making someone else happy. If it is in our power to help someone, then I think we should consider taking out time to do so.

Someone said, after being awake for 30 minutes in the mornings, you should have a plan as to how you intend to spend this day. If that be the case, no matter what your plan is,  you need to have one., Not that it cannot be changed, but at least you do have a choice to make as to which is most important. That way you already have a plan, no matter what that plan may be. You do not have to think of excuses for saying no to someone. You have a reason to say No I can't do that today or I already have plans.

Your intentions and your plan is important.  You have the right to make decisions based on what you feel or intend to do each day.

You are important. Until you realize your own worth, you cannot be a help to someone else.

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Answer 2

Say, "no, I'm really busy". Honestly, the only way to do it is to have other people get USED to it. Other techniques is to stay away from those situations where you are compromised and forced to say yes.

ie: when I am working or studying I sometimes switch my mobile off, or put it on silent and never answer. And I don't always reply messages (I know some people feel like they HAVE to, which is unnecessary), unless they are urgent. And if people ask me "What the h**l?" I just say look I don't have credit left.

I used to be the girl who can never say no. But the key here is to MAKE others USED to you being th "no" girl this time around. Trust me, you just have to practice being "mean" and be frank about it. You might feel bad at first, but only cos you're not used to it. In the end though, you will be very happy for doing what you want to do. Plus, people will begin to accept the new you and not take advantage. You have the power to change your environment--you start with yourself :)

Answer 3

i know how you feel what u need to do is make an excuse up like im busy or something like tht. And if u always say yes to a favour tell the person tht u always help them but this time u cant.

Answer 4

Grow some balls, you have to be cruel to be kind. Sometimes people would prefer if you are straight with them. They might not like it at first

Answer 5

I'm the same way. One trick that helps is to not commit to anything while in the conversation. Just say "let me think about it." Then when you're alone (and not under pressure) you can review the reasons to say "no" and decide if they're legitimate. Being helpful is good, but you definitely need set some reasonable boundaries. Good luck!

Answer 6

I have the same problem.  Just explain that you can't, it won't upset anyone if you're nice about it.  I have a problem with that though, I tend to come across as being nasty :/