Question:

How do I say this without pursuing him?

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you guys gotta help me and I'm sorry for asking so many questions.

Anyway I want to be obvious but I don't want to scare him away or ruin the relationship. I want to take the risk but I don't want to do too much.

Anyway I am in love with him and he's 28 and I'm 23. Right now we're both not looking for a relationship. But I want him to know that I am an option if he ever decides to want a girlfriend.

I have a couple of options:

Say you're very special to me

or

say You're very special to me and yes I do mean more than friends

or say You're very special to me and eventually I'd want to be more than friends with you.

Which option clearly states I want to be more than friends, he's very special to me but at the same time I'm not pursuing him?

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11 ANSWERS


  1. Consider this.  Are you both really good friends?  Have you known him a sufficient amount of time?  Do you suspect he feels the same for you as you do for him?  If so, tell him how you feel.  You don't have to use the "L" word, but you can tell him you are attracted to him, and why.  Maybe you can tell him you are attracted to him because of the person he is, his intellect, &c.  He should get the hint.  And if he rejects it, then you also save face by not using that "L" word!  

    Use the "L" word only if you know for certain how he feels.


  2. Why not say nothing sweetie and just keep being his friend and see what becomes of it? I am sure he knows you like him, so maybe this time being quiet and letting it all play out on it's own is your best bet.

  3. Neither.  Just be his friend.  If he's 28 and doesn't want a girlfriend, have you considered that he might be g*y?

  4. if the guy that old hasnt made a move its for a reason, just wait and if he wants you that way he'll let you know. you might ruin something in your firendship with him. thers a possibility you might scare him away. i woudl just wait and see what time brings both of you

  5. make love with him, men are simple creatures it focuses their minds

  6. well it's cool to have a basis for what you're going to say,

    but the fact of the matter is when you say it, you say what comes out, no matter what you planned in the first place.

    i'd suggest just pouring your heart out to him,

    sometimes that's the only way things ever get started. ofcourse, maintain some dignity & independence.

    but telling him straight up what you think about being together in the future will serve to be direct, clear, and precise and will allow for a clear answer/response back and you won't be left wondering how he perceived your comment.

  7. from your choices i'd say go with "You're very special to me and eventually I'd want to be more than friends with you." but then again you dont just want to say it. You need to be smooth about this. Like when you guys are talking about relationships. or say a hot guy passes by, make a comment about him. but then say, im not really into looks, what i am looking for is deeper than that. you know if i were to pick someone to go out with or start a relationship with, i'd like it to be with someone like you. lol. i would so do that. well good luck. and if its ment to be trust me you wont scare him away.

  8. In my opinion if you're trying to not scare him away then stay away from both those options.  If he's that easy to scare off then you're going to have to start with the very minimal of hints.  Like tell him since you're both not wanting relationships, then perhaps y'all could hang out more often in the interim and that way you'll develop a closer bond.  Another suggestion is to say a joke like "haha wouldn't it be funny if you and i got together?" or, "hey we could just go out...haha" and see what his reaction is to that.  I don't know, but that's the kind of stuff that typically works for me.  :-)  Good luck!

  9. flirt with him! thats it  

  10. I would say ...

    Just hang out and see what happens. Whenever anything comes up along the subject of dating or being more than friends, just let the conversation flow. If he goes with it, tell him that you like him but dont want things to get weird or something along those lines.

    If he doesn't say a word and acts akward, i'd say its not the right time. You never know you may just be good friends.


  11. "You're very special to me and yes I do mean more than friends."

    But all in all, just basically say the first paragraph to him. And you're straight to the point without sounding clingy or desperate.

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