How do I show them that we can stay strong?

Question

As some of you may know from previous questions I have just left a 28 year-absusive realtionship. We have 9 kids, 7 of which are grown and out of the house and my other 2 are 14(boy) and 18(girl). We also have been raising our 4 year old granddaughter.

Well, anyway. I have been staying at a friend's house for a little while, but have put some money down on a nice 4 bedroom-3 1/2 bath house so I can put them back in school.

But they have been resistent lately and clingy. I know it's because we just left an abusive home(they were never hurt by their father, but yelled at)and that is the reason, but I want them to know, it's okay now. We are safe. We are two states away and we have a restraining order agansit him. I am also divorcing this man.

How can I let them know it'll be okay. I've tried telling them, but they won't believe me. My granddaughter won't sleep with my niece(since we're staying with my sister), she'll only sleep with me in the guest room. And my teenagers(c)

Answer 1

May be you can gather them in a nice dinner , and just have fun , it will also be nice to help your 18 year old daughter (in case she wasn't a very social person) to integrate her self in the new home , same thing with the 14 year boy , but when it comes to the little granddaughter you have to show her that it's alright and that the storm has passed take her to stuff like disney land or something like that .And finally don't forget to convince YOURSELF that it's alright. and don't forget that this kind of stuff only lasts for some time then poof ! everything's gonna be fine !

Answer 2

This might be a time for some professional support.  You should contact your local women's shelter and ask them what resources might be available to you even though you don't need emergency shelter.  They can direct you to the support resources you probably need right now.  I'm sure you're doing a great job but you could use some help.  Don't be embarassed or too proud to ask.  Thats the stuff we volunteer and donate money for.

Answer 3

As time goes on it will likely get easier.  Counseling will probably help in this time of need.  Just assure her with lots of hugs and kisses.

Answer 4

Get yourself a rifle- learn how to shoot it. Let your 14 & 18 yr old learn to.Get a rifle rack to put on wall to keep it away from G,D. They are scared, with good reason.They are trying to protect you.You need something that shows them that you have an "equalizer"in case your husband shows up.You`ve done great, but by you taking that money & leaving-he`s gonna be mad.If they have seen him beat you,they know his strength.I read your past questions, I don`t believe you are safe.You be careful, cause you are in a dangerous situation.I may get thumbs down, but this type of situation is bad, Domestic violence like this is very scary.Protect yourself.There is something wrong with that man, drugs???Show your kids you can take care of him if he shows up.Good Luck I don`t believe the kisds are worried about their safety, but yours, they are protecting you.especially since your daughter doesn`t want to go to college & leave you, She`s gotta know you can protect yourself.Also realize if you do get a gun, that you have to use it, or you will wind up dead.Do not get one untill you believe you will use it.You can always put buckshot in it, which should`nt kill him (might at close range) but will send him off running.I`m from the south, the reason, I suggest a rifle is , they are big, more intimidating, harder to get (they just can`t knock you down & get the gun.)