How do I start this conversation with my mom?

Question

I want her to know that when I move to college [in about 3 weeks] i do NOT plan on being sexually active with my boyfriend, but I do want the pill to make my periods shorter and lighter, I also want her to know that my boyfriend wants to stay there on the weekends like every other week. I just don't want her to assume we're going to have s*x, and I want to make sure it's ok with her and my dad. I don't want him to stay in a hotel room because he already lives 3 hours away from me [when i move] and adding 100 a night won't be that great. any advice on how i can start the conversation without sounding forward or practical? [if that's the right word]

Answer 1

With this you have to be forward.  Be upfront and tell them that you are not planning of having s*x and that you will talk with them when you decide you are ready.  If they know your boyfriend and you have a good relationship with your parents they will discuss things with you and you guys can work it out.  Also, once you start school, you will meet people and maybe make friends with some other girls whose boyfriends live in the area and he can stay with them or if their boyfriends are in the same boat maybe they can all share a room and save on costs.

Answer 2

awww...you have the kind of relationship i have with my parents....i would just ask my mom to go out for coffee or something, your treat, and tell you you just want to talk to her...talk about other stuff, and somehow bring up the topic of your period first then tell her about the pill....then tell her the stuff about your bf....i'm sure she'll appreciate the honesty!  

Answer 3

First off i just want to tell you that i believe that you are not going to get pressured into having s*x with your boyfriend. i have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half and he basically lives at my house and we have not broken the promise yet.

but as far as talking to your mom about the birth control i would just tell her the truth. that you want shorter lighter periods. i am sure that she will completely understand, because at one point she probably felt the same way. and you usually dont even have to go to the gyno, sometimes your family doctor of pediatrician can prescribe it to you if you do not want to go to the gyno.

and about the boyfriend spending the night. you seem very mature about both of these situations. so i am sure that your mother would trust you. just tell her that when you go to college you still want to be able to see your boyfriend, and tell her that paying for a hotel room would be ridiculous. if she trusts you enough, she should understand and trust that you will make the right decision. tell her that you thought it was best to tell her before you actually had him stay for the weekend.

do not keep any of this form your mother or go to planned motherhood or go to the gyno saying your have a UTI and then get birthcontrol.

you want to have a good relationship with your mother, and being open is the best way.

Good luck and i am sure everything will be just fine!

Answer 4

Seeings how your heading off to college, you are older, not a teen per-say..so go somewhere that both of you are comfortable where you can have an uninterrupted conversation about it. Tell her you have learned to respect yourself over the years and are not willing to jeopardize your relationship with your boyfriend over s*x. What you have works, and you guys have learned to respect each other. Your mother needs to know this. Tell her college is very important to your future and nothing will get in the way of that, including boys. Ask your mother to trust you, and explain to her just how impractical it would be for him to spend all that money on a hotel. You know your mother better than anybody here, so you will have to be the one who reads her body language and know if she feels apprehensive so you know when to reassure her. I went on the pill to control my periods, and I got a lot of heat as well. Its hard for some people to believe that there still people out there with values and respect for themselves, you cant let them get to you...anyways, good luck with your conversation and good luck in college!

Answer 5

You don't have to have this conversation at all. You can go to Planned Parenthood and that is that. Though.. it would be nice if you could have the conversation without a fight or your mom worrying to much. You seem very mature and I bet they already know that. Just keep being honest as they know you are and tell them just what you told us here. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well first off, why not just tell her you are having a problem such as a Urinary tract infection or irregular bleeding, which then you can go to the gyn office together and during your appt tell your doc you want to go on the pill.  She will gladly tell your mom its due to some other problem and therefore you would be better off with the prescription, such as regulating your period.  OR you can just get an appt at a free clinic/planned parenthood and get your pills there.  OR you can wait until you go to college and go to the clinic there and get your RX without her even knowing.  You don't need her permission for any of these places.  

You can just be honest but she might judge you.  Also, as far as your boyfriend staying over at your college dorm, why does she need to know about it if she is not there???  I agree that it can be costly.  Tell her that he is staying in a friend's room when he visits and leave it at that.