How do I stop a guy from visiting me at my work all the time?

Question

I just started working at this one place that only requires me to fill in for my boss on Thursdays and Fridays.On my first Thursday alone,this guy named "Bill" came in and talked to me for 45min. At first it was okay and I didn't mind it.The second Thursday he came to visit and we talked for THREE and A HALF hours!!! I was so tired of him! I didn't know how to tell him to get off my back! And then this Thursday he came in again wanting to talk,but luckily my boss was there to scare him off.I'm only 18 and this guy is 38.He's never been married,and I have a feeling he really likes me.It's disgusting and creepy to me,this Thursday he invited me to lunch and asked for my phone number.Not to be rude,I gave it to him.Now he texts constantly.How do I get this guy to not like me anymore or to talk to me anymore??Also the fact that I am ALONE in my work and that I'm YOUNG.I've already told my boss about him and friends,but they're not taking it too seriously.Am I just paranoid?

Answer 1

Your age isn't the issue.  You are 18... an adult in the eyes of society.

You need to take a bit of responsibility for your actions.  You talked to this guy for 45 minutes on one day...and over 3 hours on another day!

Let me restate this: YOU talked to him.  If you didn't want to...why did you continue to?

It takes two people to engage in conversation.  There is nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel:

"Hey, Bill, I'm going to have to get back to work.  I really need to concentrate and finish this up.  Would you mind giving me a bit of privacy?"

"Hey, Bill, it's flattering that you like to talk to me, but to tell you the truth, we don't have much in common.  I don't even understand half of the stuff you say."

"Hey, Bill.  I'll be honest.  You totally creep me out, and I think it would be best if you didn't come around here anymore."

Any of these responses are fine.   For goodness sake, you are an adult now.  It's time to act like one.  Learn to stand up for yourself, or the world will walk all over you.

Answer 2

Not to be mean, but have you considered that all the signals you've been sending have encouraged him? If you had got busy with stuff either time he came hanging around, told him "I don't really feel comfortable with you hanging out here" or refused to give your number, he would have gotten the message. Instead, you've basically encouraged him.

It's time to be open and assertive, tell him you appreciate the compliment of his interest but that you feel he's too old for you. If he persists after that ask either your boss or the local police to have a talk with him. The step after that is a TRO.

Answer 3

You could always tell him a white lie. Tell him that a friend of yours hooked you up with someone and you began dating. Then tell him that your new boyfriend doesn't like you talking to other men, and that you don't feel comfortable talking to him anymore. I did something like this one time and it worked for me.

Or you could just come right out and tell him that he is making you feel uncomfortable.

Whatever you decide to do, you should do it as soon as possible to prevent him from becoming enamored with you.

Answer 4

this guy could be a rapist, change your #, dont ever feel obligated to be so nice you put yourself at risk. your not parinoid, you might consider changing jobs. please be more careful! Its ok to make your boundries known.

the question i answerd  right before yours was a girl who didnt want to be mean & met with a guy who then raperd her & gave her std's & stalked her

Answer 5

Tell him bluntly and to the point, he can't come to your workplace, and he is not to contact you anymore, keep an eye out as well, these guys can become stalkers, not trying to scare you, just a warning, don't want you hurt. Call the cops if he persists

Answer 6

Tell him directly that please not to visit you or talk to you anymore.

If he gets offendes it's his problem.

He is too old for you. 20 years age differences is WAY TOO MUCH!

CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

Answer 7

You gave your phone number to him and this is where you went wrong. Perhaps thats why theyre not taking it too seriously. I know youre only 18, but you need to stand up now and tell the guy that youre not interested. Not to be rude, and keeping yourself safe are two very different things. I hope you learn from this experience and that the most important thing is that not all men are nice nor do other men stand up for you if needed. You need to do that for yourself.