How do I stop being effeminate?

Question

I need A lot of help to stop being effeminate, like, a lot

Any ideas or suggestions?

i.e.

don’t have a lot of wrist movements

thank you

Answer 1

Effiminacy is culturally defined, so that would depend on where you are. Case in point: a lot of Asian men do hold hands, and there are no sexual overtones about it. What one would consider "effeminate" in your part of the world, would be considered "normal" in another part.

Since you did specify "wrist movements", here's a thought for you: You can't tell your arm to do anything it doesn't want to do. If I told you to stick your hand in a pot of boiling water, would you do it? The same holds true with your "wrist movements". You don't force yourself to do it.

The larger question would be: Why do you want to "stop"? Is it external pressure from parents or friends? Is it because you face ridicule from some moronic heathens? As far as I'm concerned, this is just a variation of personal expression - why should anyone curtail what they want to do or how they feel about doing it? As long as this does not hurt anyone nor impair your own abilities or judgements, I see no reason for you to stop "doing" your wrist movements.

The biases of other people are THEIR problem, not yours.

Answer 2

"Try to straighten up and walk like a man!"  (that's what my mom told me, BTW it didn't work.)  But I couldn't help the swing in my walk and the guys seemed to follow!  ;P  

Answer 3

you can not change the way you are, you must learn to accept your way's there is nothing wrong with you, some people are big and butch and some effeminate, the world would be a boring place if we were all the same

Answer 4

wear those bowling wrist guards I'm sure they wouldn't allow for that kind of flexibility

Answer 5

Well unless it doesn't feel natural to act effeminately then don't try to stop. I understand about how others look down on guys who do act effeminately though, so if in certain situations you want to put on the straight-acting mask it can be useful. If it wasn't you probably wouldnt be asking.

Perhaps supplement hanging out with the girls, with hanging out with the guys a little more? Ask close friends what makes you seem girly to them. Consciousness of body language, spoke language, tone of voice can help...less flamboyance. At first its going to take a bit of concious effort, but with practise it should be easier to put on as needed.

Look at your wardrobe. Is it very 'g*y'?

Straight-acting is a good word, because if you are naturally effemninate then you are acting.