How do I stop my 2 year old from hitting my newborn?

Question

I have two wonderful sons, one who will be two next month and the other who is three weeks old. I know its normal for toddlers to be angry or upset about the new baby but he is constantly hitting the new baby with everything. At one point, he threw a four pound weight onto him. I'm concerned that he will seriously injure my three week old or maybe worse. My toddler is so rowdy and wild. He even hits and bites me! He has turned into this vicious and violent child.

Also, what is the normal activity level for a toddler? Maybe he is hyperactive because he throws so many violent temper tantrums (sometimes one or two an hour. He lives in time out.)

What can I do?

Answer 1

Give Super Nanny a call

Answer 2

O Gosh!  it is hard to raise children, especially when they are so close.  Try involving him, when you talk to the baby.. have him hold him while he is sitting next to you.. that way you are supervising both of the... have  him give him kisses and hug him .. tell them both how much you love them... involve him whenever you do something and don't forget that he also needs a lot of attention... once in a while both of you go out.. leave the other child with someone u trust... take him to a park.. he might be over active as well.. and having his "terrible twos" ... it is normal to be jealous, they just express different ways because they do not know better... talk to both of them.. he will learn to love his younger brother.. just do things together.... Good luck

Answer 3

find a new approach to time out.;) is there a favorite toy to take away? make sure that you are spending some quality time that totally belongs to mister 2. continue to go to his eye and firmly explain that physical doings to brother are wrong and that brother is not going away and there is nothing that he can do to affect that. i hope this helps a bit. You have got your hands full. eye contact very important.

Answer 4

Wow that is just ridiculous, you cannot allow that to continue. Your 2 year-old is clearly screaming for discipline. Yes, it is normal for him to be angry and probably jealous of the new baby but not to the point that he is constantly violent. And from what you've said it sounds like time-out just isn't cutting it. I don't think he's hyperactive, and even if he were 2 years-old is really too young to tell.

You need to find a different method of discipline. Maybe try taking a toy away or something like that when he hits. Be very firm and tell him you will not tolerate him hitting the baby or you. If that doesn't work I guess you'll just have to keep him away from the baby as much as you can. You're very right, he could seriously hurt the baby.

It sounds like he has no interest in the baby what so ever-except for throwing things at him. So don't ask him to help. He's clearly angry and doesn't want to be involved.

I wish I could be more helpful. Good luck with your tough situation.

Answer 5

I am in the same boat with a 2 year old and a 7 month old.  I have tried EVERYTHING and he still bites, hits, pulls hair, etc.  He acts like he is starving for attention, although he gets plenty.  We include him in everything, spend one on one time with him, we even let him sleep with us now (that's a whole nother story).  Everyone tells me that it will get better.  It has been 7 months?  I also worry about the safety of my daughter, but I don't ever leave them alone together.  

I wish I could offer your some advice, but...  if you find something that works, let me know...

Denise

Answer 6

Keep your 2 yr old away from u'r infant

this is the best thing u can do

or keep u'r 2 yr old baby happy by giving him sweets , etc but in limited amounts.

Answer 7

The toddler is probably threatened by the baby and need more one on one.  Redirect him and ignore inappropriate behaviors.  Let him know that you do not like it and simply turn your back and ignore him.  Tell him when he is ready, you two cand talk.  

If you have to be in a separate room away from him but where you can see him, do that.  Let him know that you do not like what he is doing and if he wants to be with mommy, he needs to be gentle and show loving touches.  When he is calm, sit together with both him and the baby and demonstrate soft touches and appropriate interaction.  

You must be firm or his inappropriate behaviors will escalate.  As much as you can, provide that one on one time with him so that he will always know that you still love him and like being around him.  

Answer 8

Keep the 2 year old away from the baby until you have another person there to help you teach him to be gentle. Have the person hold the baby and you hold your 2 year old. Take his hand and say gentle as you rub it across the baby's hand. Then hug him and say good boy. Do this several times at different times of the day.

Also, spend as much time as you can with your 2 year old, hugging him, holding him, and loving him. Explain to him that you still love him very much and he has nothing to be jealous of.

Also, once your 2 year old has learned to be gentle with the baby. Be sure to correct him when he has a relapse and wants to harm the baby again. Say no and seperate him from the baby by placing him in his crib, playpen, or timeout in someone's lap. Be consistant in your teaching and corrections.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Yes, this happen's often! Try to include the 3yr old with helping with the baby, make him feel that his help with the baby, is important, & you will find these things will stop, good luck.

Answer 10

I would slap the **** out of him and make d**n sure he knew what he was doing is wrong.

Answer 11

Well sometimes, the a toddler will act out towards the baby not because they don't like the baby but because it takes so much of your time away from him now. You need to make sure that you are making lots of fun play time with your older child and when he does hurt the baby, to not punish him really, but to put in him time out and get down to his level and ask him why he hit the baby. You'd be surprised what will cause that behavior when you sit down and ask.  Keeping him busy is another way to keep him from doing any harm to you and the baby, play lots of fun safe games with him, hide and seek, make things that are normally a chore for him fun. Like going for walks to the park with the baby. Anything that has anything to do with the baby, make it fun, and don't be afraid to get him involved, that could be part of the reason why hes lashing out at the baby and you.

You should try reading a few books on child behavior, or talking to a mental health counselor.

Answer 12

give him a good old fashioned pow pow

Answer 13

you think he is 'wonderful' even though he hits you baby?!?!

by the way temper tantrums are usually a reaction to disorder in the child's life so you need to find out what and get it sorted before your other child comes to any harm.

he may have to stay with his grandparents or something