How do I stop my 20mth old baby hitting

Question

hi my daughter has started hitting and i don't know why or how to stop her my husband seams to think its because we've had a few arguments lately and shes reacting to that but my Mother in law says because my husband wrestles with her and rough and tumbles about with her a lot but would this make her hit? how do i stop it though I don't want to smack her back as I have been told as I don't agree with that as its just reinforcing the aggressiveness. Any ideas??

Answer 1

every time she dose it put her out of the room for 2 minutes, i know you will find it hard to do but you need to stop this now, i think your mother in law is right too

Answer 2

Get a cage and each time she hits, she goes in the cage for an hour.

Answer 3

I think EVERY kid goes through this, it really doesn't have anything to do with any arguments or wrestling.  It's the marking of her going into the terrible twos!  Anyway, I personally don't have a problem with spanking bottoms or slapping their hand lightly, but in this scenario I would say not to do it because it may confuse them (NO hitting!  And then you do it to them).  What really worked with my son was looking him in the eyes, with the Mom voice and face (eyebrows raised) and telling him, "No!  We don't hit!"  It was more beneficial than any spanking I could give, because they don't want their Mommies to be upset with them.  If that doesn't work, timeouts are great (if the still keep doing it after you have said "no").  This is something that's going to take a while, just be very consistent in letting her know that it's not allowed and won't be tolerated.  Also, make sure to praise her when she's doing good, kids love having positive reinforcement!  

*******Found an article at babycenter.com that might help.  Also, it's second  line states:  Hitting, scratching, and biting are common toddler behaviors

Your 20-month-old's behavior: Coping with aggression:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-20-mont...

Answer 4

She is in that stage. My little brother still does that. AND HE IS FOUR NOW. So if you dont stop it now......    Evertime she hits look her straight in the eyes and say NO firmly. And then don't give her any attention for at least 5 minutes. She probably will start  crying. Good luck!

Answer 5

As much as you probably don't want to hear this (read this?) your mother-in-law has a valid point.  Being agressive with her in any way teaches her that hitting is OK.  At 20mths, she doesn't know that when she "rough and tumbles" with Daddy it's OK, but when she hits other people it's not OK.  Until she is older, you should ask her dad not to play roughly with her.

When she hits someone else, for example, if you invite another child over for a play date and she hits them.  First, you would sit her on the floor, preferably facing a corner without talking to her (just pick her up and sit her in the corner).  Then, offer the other child a freezie/popsicle for his/her "boo-boo", give them a big hug and say "I'm very sorry that happened to you, that wasn't fun, was it?"  After your daughter has sat quietly for a minute or two, call her over and ask her to give her friend a hug and say sorry for hitting them.

With kids this young, they often resort to violence to get attention for themselves.  By taking away the attention they get from hitting and giving attention to the person that was hit, they very quickly learn that violence doesn't benefit them.

Answer 6

slap the back of her wrist, when she doesnt like it herself, she'll soon get the message that shes doing wrong.  didnt do me or my 2 any harm!

Answer 7

tap her lightly on the bum or wrist

it won't hurt her, but she may cry anyway - just ignore her

it's perfectly legal

if you keep it up, she'll stop

good luck!