How do I stop my 8 year old from telling tall tales?

Question

I have an 8 year old daughter that likes to tell unusual stories. I don't know whether it's to be funny or not, but let me tell you about where I've reached my limit.

Today I received a visit from child protective services. It turns out, she had been telling people at school that I let her drink Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan (STOP LAUGHING!) and watch "big people" movies.

You know, at first it was all kind of cute and funny...and I'll admit, I'd kind of just snicker it off and just say "Yeah, whatever and I'm the king of England--scram with that!" but now when I have police and child protective services on my tail--it's not funny anymore.

How do I stop this before I end up either having to fight in court to get her from foster care, or sitting in jail on child neglect charges for something that never happened?

Answer 1

You have to be strict at her, possibly make her cry,

If you don't sort this out now, at 13 she'll end up pregnant, smoking and drinking most of the time.

Better to sort this out now.

Also threaten to put her into care, I made a massive turn around when I got told this.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like she is looking for attention. I would let her know the seriousness of her actions and the reprocussions because of it. Let her know that her stories got you in a lot of trouble and that she was almost taken away because of them.

Answer 3

ground her no TV for a week

Answer 4

Well you gotta ask yourself this question...how does your 8 year old even know what Jack Daniels and Captain morgan are?  

That's quite a mess you have there.  Try getting your daughter a journal, tell her to put her stories in there rather than trying to tell everyone at school.  It could be a cry for attention.

Put her in an acting class, theater, drama you know...that type of thing.  Let her put her 'talents' to good use.  It will give her the attention she craves, and give her an outlet for all of that 'energy'.  

Good luck.

Answer 5

That's hilarious, first of all.  I think, though, at this point, you're going to have to frighten your child a little by letting her know that the next time it happens, child protective services may actually decide to believe her and not you (or her for that matter when she "recants"), and might choose to take her away.  While scaring a child is not something I would normally recommend, I think your situation calls for it.

You may also want to try a once a week "tall-tales hour" where your obviously intelligent daughter is encouraged to invent a story, with the understanding that she won't do so anywhere else.  You can even invite like-minded children over to do the same.

Answer 6

TEll her that she can get in huge trouble

Answer 7

Explain to her the difference between imagination and lying - that lying could sound true to someone who doesn't know the difference. Tell her what happened with the visit from CPS and let her know that her words have consequences and it's better to always tell the truth.

Also, watch what you say around her - what is she picking up from you? Be aware of when you are telling the truth and when you might be stretching it - she will pick up on what you model and how you talk.

And don't laugh at her tall tales anymore - you're right - it's not cute anymore. But also, don't yell - just explain very seriously so she knows that this is important.

Answer 8

Seems odd that she would have known the names of the whiskey and rum or that she would know big people watch different movies.

Just watch yourself. I have been a CPS frequent flier for a while due to bogus school reports and while I have never had a problem with them, I have heard some real horror stories.

Get her checked by a psychologist, the school should be able to do that for you and if you don't agree-you don't have to accept the findings-most districts will pay for a second opinion as well. That will at least tell CPS that you are aware of her imagination. Document everything!

Answer 9

it will be a sad day for everyone when child protective services believe an 8 year old over adults.

Answer 10

I use to have the same problem with my daughter.  I quit that in a hurry before it got out of control. Every time she would lie to me she would get a slap on the mouth and that worked for me. I am not saying to hit your child but in my case it worked and I only had to do it a few times. She learned quickly that I would not put up with the lying. She was about 3 and now she is almost 8.

Answer 11

I can see how scary this problem can be. She's old enough to understand the difference between truth and imagination, so that's not a solution. I would bet that she wants the attention. Try talking to about why she does it, and if that gets you nowhere, punish her and stick to it. Be consistent and explain why what she did was wrong. Hopefully, that does the trick.

Answer 12

For an 8 year old, she's certainly well versed in the liquor category.  Why does she even know about Jack Daniels and Captain Morgan?   There's nothing about this story that would make me laugh.  It's interesting the p**n was brought into the mix....considering your name is triple X.   My guess is there's more going on here than just tall tales.

***  You're raising your kid around booze and adult movies....who's the moron?   I know CPS isn't coming to my house anytime soon.  Best of luck to you though - you're going to need it.

Answer 13

Scare her. Talk to her and make her think that because of her lying she will never see you, or daddy or any one ever again. That they will take her away and she can't keep her toys, and she can never come home, no matter what. Really blow it out of proportion (may be get teary eyed)  that way she learns the seriousness of lying.

Answer 14

maybe it has something to do with you? I am not really judging you but you might as well reflect on it, and ask your girl wherever  did she get the idea of telling those? Hear her side, and maybe you should start talking logically, it's hard I know but it might just work. just explain to her and if she doesn't understand it, just strictly her no more things to ask as that would close it.

you should also check out the people surrounding her. I mean, does she have other people in the house that looks for her besides you? maybe they are teaching her those..

also, you might as well try to scare her (just a little don't overdo it - it works with my little sister) with things you'll know she will be scared off, once that happens again.

and make her learn about her mistakes..

Answer 15

Have you sat her down and explained that lying is bad? What was her response? Read her the fable about the boy who cried wolf and try to explain to her that lies can lead to BIG trouble.

Also, lying is wrong and should be punished. If you catch her in a lie explain how what she said was wrong, what the truth is and how she will be punished. Hopefully that will get thru to her that she cant keep lying or she'll get sent to her room or her favorite toy will be taken away from her or whatever.

Answer 16

I know someone going through this.  My advice is this:  Take her to the store and have her pick out any kind of notebook she wants.  Bring her home and ask her to write you a story.  Then tell her that when she gets these ideas in her head and wants to blurt them out to write them down and let you read them first to see if its ok to tell other people...I know this sounds like encouraging her to lie, but this is obviously a phase and I think she will stop.  You will be able to teach her what things are apprioate to say to the general public and whats good to keep at home for you two to enjoy.  This is encouraging her to express her ideas and creativity and not feel shamed and embarrassed about lying if you get what I'm saying...Good luck and I hope this helped.

Answer 17

This is a tough one. And yes I had to admit I chuckled a little. But you are right it is not funny. Obviously you have talked to her. I would start with really serious punishments. And take her to see a psychologist. There is a problem as to why she is doing that.

Answer 18

Read her the story about the little boy who cried wolf to her but personalize it. to where the parts where he cries about a wolf change it to instances where she has tall taled. Make up a name for the main character. something similar to hers so like if her name is cayci use something like macy...make up an ending than she can understand her own consequences for her actions and after the book is over she may ask if it was about her. tell her that the characters story is quite similar to hers and that she can get in trouble for what shes doing with her lying. if it continues, Realize the situation, have her friends, neighbors trusted school mates participate in an activity to teach her the consequences. Tell them not to tell her whats going on and definitley dont tell her whats going on. OK so what you should do is pretty much whenever she says anything just have evryone say something like "really?" or "i dont think so" or "r u sure that's what happened exactly" or just plain "i dont believe u" or "u should try telling the truth". Eventually she may just get tired of lying and being ignored and want to stop altogether. If that doesn't work, call a school guidance counselor or school officer and tell him or her the situation. Him him or her call your daughter in to speak about how what shes doing is wrong and what the consequences are. This should help. Try one or all of the methods. its pretty much in order of severity. If she stops after step 1 then you need to search no farther but if it continues then the following steps should help. Have a great day and I hope this helps your situation.

Tori

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Answer 19

Chill bro, encourage her more in different manner like short stories and all.  U got a genius in ur home.

Answer 20

Hmmmm well my son used to do that to me all the time and it realy did get annoying, also getting me in trouble at the same time. Tell your daughter of the story "Boy who cryed wolf". Tell her that if she makes up things, people wont believe her and noone will listen when the story is true, and the true story may be importent. Well thats my advice, good luck

Answer 21

Tell her the story about the little boy who cried wolf and repeat the story on a daily basis.