How do I stop my child pooping his pants to seek attention?

Question

My almost 4 yo has been pooping in his underwear when he feels he's not getting enough attention. Yes, we have a 7month old baby and this issue began when the baby arrived. We've tried all the positive re-inforcement tricks (rewards, sticker charts, praise for using the toilet) and the negative ones (showing disappointment, taking privileges, threatening to put him back in diapers, etc.) but nothing seems to have worked - well long term anyway.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Answer 1

this generally isn't done to "seek attention".  get the child to a pediatrician.

Answer 2

Try not giving him any sort of reaction when he does this and don't rush to clean him up. I don't mean that you should leave him in dirty pants for an entire day, but even leaving him in his soiled pants for a little while will start to get the point across to him that hey, not only are mom and dad not paying attention but this is uncomfortable. Obviously don't let it get to the point where he would get a rash or anything, but positive or negative, he is still getting some sort of reaction so he's getting what he wants.

Answer 3

I agree with those who suggest you let your son clean himself up.  At four years, he's big enough to give it a try and it will offset the attention he's getting and provide a natural punishment for his behavior.  If he doesn't get himself all the way clean you can finish the job.

I also suggest you set aside time everyday that's just for him if you haven't already.  Even 15 to 10 minutes of personal time can help a child get the attention he needs.

Answer 4

Say NO!

Answer 5

Just look at him with serious sadness on your face and gravely tell him that he is too big now and too stinky to be cleaned up with baby wipes... he'll have to be hosed off outside.  Try not to smile and laugh as you spray his backside with the hose.  He'll think it's fun if you do.  Make him take his clothes off and stand for the hose... get him good and clean with the hose, then have him go dry off and put clean clothes on.  

He'll get tired of this routine REAL fast and will stop the pooping.

Might sound mean to some of you parents, but if he's ABLE to p**p in the toilet then there's NO REASON why a mother needs to put up with a 4 yo purposely pooping in his pants just to get attention!  

Please also make sure that you are giving him important jobs to do with caring for the baby.  At this age, feeding the baby (bottle or spoon) should be an appropriately important job.  Don't force it, but offer it and encourage it.  This will create bonding instead of animosity and jealousy.

Answer 6

The punishments are giving him negative attention and taking your time away from the baby so that works great for him so I wouldn't do that anymore.  Reward him for going in the potty but when he poops his pants just take him to the bathroom clean him and then without saying a word go back to doing what you were doing.  Only show attention when he is being positive.  Make sure that he is getting a lot of positive attention though throughout the day.  If your baby is asleep or content spend time with your 4 year old playing games or something.

Answer 7

Don't threaten to put him back in diapers- DO IT. Onmce he realises that he really has lost the privilege of wearing "big boy" underwear, he'll probably decide to go back to the potty instead. Don't make a big deal out of it- because even negative attention is still attention. Simply inform him that since he can't go to the potty like a big boy, he can't wear underwear like a big boy either. If he messes in his diapers, say nothing and change him. Set a goal- like if he can go, say three days without an accident, then you'll let him wear underwear. But if he has an accident again, he'll be going straight back to diapers. -Neb

Answer 8

I would hand him the wipes and hand him clean undies take him to bathroom tell him he made the accident and its time to clean himself leave him only for a minute or so and keep peaking in to see hows hes doing  have him rinse his soiled undies out as well.Ceaning himself up wont hurt him we all have to learn to keep our ownselves clean. A  couple of times spraying out poopy undies should do the trick,Good Luck.

Answer 9

My eldest tried that with me when we added a new baby to our collection, and as bad as it sounds, I made her wash her undies a few times, she soon enough stopped and started doing the right thing again...rewards or getting cross, probably wont help, if hes attention seeking, even being told off is getting attention...good luck.

Answer 10

I agree with lorenelise1...... You also can said No, go to potty not in pant!