How do I stop thinking about this?

Question

I've noticed that I've been obsessing alot of about not being attractive, never having been on a date, or a bf, etc. I never used to think about this before. I really want these thought processes to stop because it's making me a bit depressed. How do I get out of this rut? I'm 22 by the way.... and please don't say get into a relationship b/c for very good reasons I really can't....

Answer 1

Girl I feel you. Its always not easy. Especially in this world where everything so focused on looks physique it can be hard not to compare your self to the 'supermodel' looking people.

But what has worked for me was not focusing on others, but on myself. You don't need someone to tell you that you are beautiful, you can look in the mirror and find atleast one thing that you like about yourself. So by doing that others don't 'dictate' how you should feel about yourself, your self esteem won't come from them, it comes from you liking yourself.

Also being attractive less to do with inherted good looks and more to do with how you view yourself. Have you ever come aross some people and in your mind, you think, "shes not 'that' good looking, how come she always gets the guys? or how come she is so well liked?"

But what makes her attactive is not good looks but how she looks at her self, how she carries herself. I was say the same to you work on your 'inner attrativeness' and leave the rest.

If light exercise make you feel better, go ahead and do it. Look up articles that help with "increasing your attrativeness" and follow the advise.

As far as not having a BF or not dating. Dont feel alone. I'm 22 and I'm not dating either (for personal and religious reasons) and people would try to make you feel bad for that decision. Nothing is wrong with you. Whatever your reason for not dating,that is your business and noone should make you feel quilty for it.

If you want to talk about it send me a email

Answer 2

How could you know? You cant!

If you have never been on a date, people can never have looked at you under a starlit sky and told you how beautiful you were.

Your obsession lies in the eyes of someone else, attractive is a term that one uses to describe another, but you have no others to tell you intimately.

So, I won't tell you to get into a relationship, but I will tell you to realize where the problem lies.

Answer 3

If you haven't been on a date yet I would suggest finding some people that you have something in common with, so you can talk to them about this I'll bet one of them could help you