How do I tell my 3 year old that our cat died?

Question

Our cat was hit and killed by a car yesterday.

Our daughter is 3, and can communicate and comprehend things pretty well. But of course, death is a whole different matter.

She hasnt asked about where the cat is yet. I'm not sure if I should just leave it be unless she asks, or if I shouldapproach her about it. And how can I tell her without scaring her? If she never asks about the cat, should I just let her forget all about it and leave it be?

Answer 1

tell her she went to vegas and got married. I told that to my bro and he didn't get it... but actually believed me... I felt bad afterward but when I asked him where Ms. Kitty went he says, "Vegas! She got married to a handsome puppy!" Then I don't feel so bad.

Answer 2

if she asks, tell her it wen to Heaven

Answer 3

call me crazy.....but I would think this would be a perfect time to explain to her what death is.....you can't garentee she won't lose a loved one that is human in her little life time, what if it happens and she has the cat expirence to go from and says to herself....ok my cat died, so that means I won't see it anymore......this will help her understand death if she has to go through it with another.....she will know that death means you don't see them anymore. you can add your own spiritual aspects of course.

Answer 4

I would absolutely not recommend just forgetting about the cat. She certainly will figure out at some point that the cat is gone and you don't want her to develop fears about animals (including people) just being able to "disappear." It's really sad that the cat got hit by a car and I'm sorry. I would definitely tell her that the cat got hit by a car and died. She may be afraid and have questions about cars and you can certainly explain to her how cars can be dangerous and how we all need to be careful around cars and that accidents can happen. Reassure her that we always try to be careful but that accidents do happen. Children her age actually understand and her far more comfortable about the whole concept of death than adults are in some ways and certainly a lot more aware of it all than we give them credit for. If she is sad -- that's okay. Let her be sad and comfort her and tell her that it's ok to be sad that the cat dies because it is a sad thing. There's a really good book called "Cat Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant. I love the one she has about dogs and I'm sure the cat one is good too. Don't try to explain the whole idea of death to her by emphasizing how it was an accident. The truth is that living things die -- sometimes they are sick, sometimes there are accidents, and sometimes they get old -- but the bottom line is that all living things die -- and believe it or not, she will understand this. If she misses the cat, that's ok. If she hardly notices, that's ok too but, I wouldn't just avoid the whole thing and never mention the truth. My daughter was two and a half when a friend's dad died and i was on the phone talking about it. When I got off the phone she asked me what it meant to die. Before I got a chance to figure out how to answer, she said -- "Oh, you mean like a flower dies?" And I said -- yes. just like when a flower dies. Death is pretty simple for little kids to understand. When they get to be about 7 years old, they get a lot more like adults about it and have far more problems with it. So sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

Tell your daughter that god needed another angel and he chose the perfect cat in the whole world , which was yours

Answer 6

i would just tell her what happend to the little kitty

Answer 7

Kids understand more than you think. All you have to do is talk to them and explain the best you can....my son was 1 and knew that my mother was murdered when I was 4. I spoke to him about it...showed him pictures of her as well as his other grandma's (MIL and my Step-Mother) and now he is 4 and he talks about grandma Marta all the time and he remembers that she is in heaven....depends on how you approach it. I don't believe in sugar coating things....

Answer 8

no never just forget about because she wont foget explain that your kitty has gone away and she wont come back for awhile wait till she can actually comprehend it to explain it to her if she asks were say to be with his other cat friends that will make her feel pleased he is happy and she wont be upset

Answer 9

I'm a firm believer of telling the truth!  

Answer 10

ugh who cares. the kid is 3. she still believes in santa clause and the easter bunny.

Answer 11

My first cat died of feline leukemia when I was three...I still remember her and I remember when she died. My mother told me that Kitty was sick and had to go be with God. She said that though we will be sad that Kitty was gone from our lives, we should be happy that she is in cat heaven now and will always be happy...I am actually crying writing this and I am 33 years old. It was sad, and I did cry, but I had a deep sense of it being OK, because Kitty was in a better place. Now, I know that a cat being sick and a cat getting hit by a car are two different things, but you don't have to give her the gory details..just let her know that their was an accident, and your cat won't be able to be with you anymore but that she is with God in cat heaven (embellish as you will...i liked the catnip forever and all the food she wants...lol) Now if you don't believe in God/heaven, I guess you could just tell her that it's part of the cycle of life. There is a book called "the fall of freddy the leaf" that is for little kids, and it teaches them about death and how it is a natural thing. I highly recommend it. Good luck and like I said, don't just ignore it- face it head on and she will thank you later. I'm going to go call my mom and thank her now!!!

Answer 12

i say you should tell her.. I have had love birds that die, and my niece knows that they're dead because we've always told her since she was 3.

Answer 13

Just be honest and say she or he has now gone to cat heaven with all the other cats and thay will love it there its a great place for cats to go to...

Answer 14

I would wait until she asks...and tell her it ran away. In my case my three year old had a dog and he got ran over... she wouldn't stop screaming and crying... so we were off to find her a new dog the very next day. Even though, we were not ready "emotionally" for a new dog. Good luck, and I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 15

if she asks as hard as it is tell her the truth . i found it really helpful with my 4 year old  when her bunny died to bury it together and say our goodbyes unfortunately death comes to us all and its often easier to prepare children for this fact through the loss of a pet. keep it simple and honest thats my advice

best of luck