How do I tell my In-laws to clean their house without being rude?

Question

How do I tell my In-laws to clean their house without being rude?

Answer 1

Not your problem dear. The only possible situation where you should consider any form of intervention is where you are dealing with pathological hoarding, 40 cats, faeces or decaying food everywhere, and other indicators that they are not coping. Otherwise it is none of your business how they choose to live.

Answer 2

I wouldn't give unsolicited advice on how people should maintain their own homes.  However sound your advice, they will consider it an insult and an invasion of their privacy.  Sometimes, the best way to inspire others to act differently is simply to set a good example.  But again, don't even hint that they ought to be more tidy.  You'll only cause ill feelings.

Answer 3

You don't.

Are they old or disabled?  They may need help in cleaning up.  Have your husband speak to them, if he feels it's appropriate. If there's a major problem, see if your husband and his siblings can speak with them and come up with a solution.  Maybe a weekly maid service, or you all taking turns helping them.

You need to stay out of it.  You're only going to tick them off and cause problems between them, you and your husband.

Answer 4

You can't because it's their house and not yours.

Since my nearly 3 year-old always comes back from my in-laws with black socks and covered in dog hair, I just don't put his best clothes on when he goes there.

Answer 5

~~You don't. Each person has a right to live how they want to live and that includes their housekeeping standards. They raised your husband, so try and be grateful for what they did for him and overlook their different housekeeping standards.~~

Answer 6

HA HA HA HA HA!! I just went through this same thing!!! I did ot by going into the house and telling the little brother to start picking things up. In the hour I was there, the trash got taken out (it was piled all over the kitchen floor), and the trash that had been piled in the living room got picked up and taken out. The house is HORRIBLE!!! Maybe go in and start picking things up and they will feel bad and start to help you?

Answer 7

The Big Book of Etiquette says you shouldn't.  It isn't your home and it isn't your parents.  If your husband thinks it is a problem that perhaps is a sanitary issue or a health hazard than he should be the one to address it and not you.  There have always been the wars between the in-laws and the wives.  Leave this one up the common sense and decision of your husband.  You would expect him to do the same for you.

Peace & Love :)

Answer 8

Why don't you start cleaning the house, and maybe they'll follow suit? Or suggest that you all pitch in and help out? Or hire a cleaning service?  

Answer 9

u cant. it shouldnt bother u cos it's not ur house & u dont live there.  

Answer 10

You can't.  If you are there for a meal,  you can just pitch in and help.  My in-laws  kept a  very untidy home and we just ignored with it when visiting there.  When you go to visit, you are there to see them, not inspect their house.    Before my MIL's funeral, we did go help clean because the extended family would be visiting.  My FIL did say he appreciated it.

Answer 11

offer help!

Answer 12

You don't...your husband can...but not you.....

Answer 13

You don't.